Prayers of Children

This past month instead of our normal Good Dirt talk each evening we made a commitment to pray for the persecuted church around the world. It was interesting. It is hard enough for Mike and I to identify with these brothers and sisters in Christ.  We have both traveled quite a bit and been to multiple 3rd world nations including some that are in governmental unrest. Nevertheless our kids who are middle class America, have never been hungry or never not had a Christmas or birthday present waiting on the special day. But we read stories each day from Voice of the Martyrs. We read stories of dads that had to flee from their homes on our daddy's birthday. It made it a bit more real to them that while we participated in celebrating our very special guy, a very special guy to someone else had just lost his life only because he loved Jesus. As we discussed that where these events happen we could not even sit as we were and talk and pray and read about Jesus. Our kids each in their special ways got it.

Isabella while she sits fully entrenched in her self revolving, 16 year old thoughts had a glimpse of losing everything she knows because of her faith. Did it strengthen her? I do not know. Did it challenge her? Yes!

My Kadin, in all his 5 year old innocence just knows that he "loves Jesus and everyone should love Jesus but I guess they don't have to."

And our Quinn who teaches us more than any long educated professor could, writes in his Revolutionary War paper for school that the " colonists just wanted their independence so they could love Jesus without being killed in their own homes." He cannot fathom a world without freedom. He knows no persecution or racism or judgement. He only knows freedom in life and in Christ.

I am not sure that any of us can truly understand what the persecuted church faces daily... But they do have a few more prayers coming from some young ones in Colorado.

Full Circle

We’ve come full circle with the Good Dirt devotionals. It was a little bit exciting to read that final entry of the year and look forward to waking up in the morning to our Advent Wreath and new book! Thank you, Lacy & Ben for this year’s challenge to walk with you through the devotional readings with our family and for holding us to the enriching dialogue of walking the Kingdom Way.

Happy Waiting!

-Tamara

Picture Book Reading as a Formational Discipline

There are few things I love more than books. Pecan pie is close. Old books, new books, children's books, books with illuminations... I love books. Children's books have special powers, though. If you don't believe me, invite a child to snuggle up next to you and read The Nativity by Julie Vivas.

Reading a picture book is formational. Trust me on this one. When I invite a child into my arms and we share an experience, full of art and word, both of us are changed.

All the parts of the person are in engaged in picture book reading. Loving touch is transformative. Children feel safe and wanted when they are sitting on the lap of an adult they trust. Shared space holds a mystery all it's own. Our mind is engaged through words and pictures. Both halves of the brain are engaged. Together we share sight and sound, even smell. Today if I read The Bugliest Bug by Carol Diggory Shields and illustrated by Scott Nash, my mind returns to the smell of Cherrios mixed with baby shampoo.

If we will allow ourselves, children can lead us to engage with our emotions. Children's picture books are often written to engage emotions. Long ago most of us adults have learned to stuff our emotions, to keep them hidden. A healthy life includes emotion and children can help us move toward wholeness.

On that note here are a few suggestions, book suggestions. You'll have to get your own kid.

Close as Breath by Callie Grant (This is a board book, for preschoolers and it's terrific. She's got more board books on her site and they are also very good.) http://www.grahamblanchard.com/product/close-as-a-breath

December by Eve Bunting and illustrated by David Diaz

Butterflies Under Our Hats by Sandy Eisenberg Sasso and illustrated by Joani Keller Rothenberg

Psalm Twenty-Three illustrated by Tim Ladwig

The Lord's Prayer illustrated by Tim Ladwig

To Every Thing There is a Season by Leo and Diane Dillon

Will's Mammoth by Rafe Martin and Stephen Gammell

Ferdinand by Munro Leaf and illustrated by Robert Lawson

Chrysamthemum by Kevin Henkes

The Napping House by Audrey and Don Wood

King Bidgood's in the Bathtub by Audrey and Don Wood

The Blessing of the Beasts by Ethel Pochocki and engravings by Barry Moser

Grandad's Prayers of the Earth by Douglas Wood illustrated by P.J. Lynch

The Three Questions: based on a story by Leo Tolstoy by Jon J. Muth

Making Heart-Bread by Matthew Linn, Shelia Fabricant Linn, and Dennis Linn illustrated by Francisco Miranda

The Dandelion Seed by Joseph Anthony and illustrated by Cris Arbo

The Circle of Days by Reeve Lindberg and illustrated by Cathie Felstead

Owl Moon by Jane Yolen and illustrated by John Schoenherr

I think this is a good starting place.

Which books would you add to the collection?

Share about a time when reading with children has formed you.

The Contemplative Zombie Killer

I am a contemplative. It's not like a badge of honor, or a state to ascribe to. It's more like the way I connect with the Trinity and the world around me. I am a mother. It's not like a badge of honor, or a state to ascribe to. It's more like the way.... (Get where I'm going with this?) Are you sensing the tension? Yeah, me too. Contemplative prayer is a staple for me throughout the day. I  return my thoughts to God when doing mundane tasks, like laundry, or vacuuming. I don’t return to a formal prayer, but instead bring my heart and mind to as full of an awareness of the presence of God as I can stand. Centering prayer is a part of my morning and evening rhythm. I focus my heart and mind on the belovedness of the Trinity and the invitation into my own belovedness . It is a prayer of “being” not “doing.” I've got a monkey mind that runs from dawn to dusk, centering prayer calms that monkey and opens the space for a deeper relationship with God.

Although contemplatives do things, too.  I have often felt that action and contemplation go together and have found great joy in this. I think the key is to not separate the internal practices of contemplation from external acts of service. While on the surface they seem paradoxical, they actually are not. The internal connectivity of human spirit to Holy Spirit is what powers and directs the act of service. Without the internal contemplative attention the act of service becomes one of self service or loses the power to continue in the face of difficulty or suffering. Mother Teresa is an excellent example. Her inner posture of contemplation informed and powered her outward service.

I have experienced the inner contemplative posture powering my outward life and I wouldn't trade it for all the gold at The Franklin Mint. Until zombie killer games come into play. We have a Sabbath practice that looks like doing a bit of nothing, which I'm pretty fine with.

Recently I was convicted by two things. 1. I make my kids clean their room on the Sabbath. (Forgive me Lord, for my crappy example.) 2. Sabbath is celebration and celebration is not my strong suit.

My husband and children LOVE computer games. What is one way I could celebrate with them as an entrance into the Sabbath? (Get where I'm going with this?) As I lamented this conviction to a group of friends one said, "Yeah, you wouldn't want to be like Jesus and enter the world of your family and celebrate." Ok. I get it.

Not-so-secret service in my current season of life looks like starting the Sabbath by playing a zombie killer computer game with my children and husband. The real challenge for me is how to stay connected with God inwardly while engaging with my family in this manner outwardly.

I'm open for suggestions.

How do you connect your inner life with your outer?

How do you celebrate the Sabbath?

Loving Our Enemies and the Exodus

As I age I have more questions than answers. They say this is wisdom, I think it’s dementia. The questions come faster and more furiously when I try to wrap my brain and body around Jesus admonishment to love our enemies. You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be                   children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. –Matthew 5:44-45 NRSV

Two nights ago we were reading the Exodus story. A story where there is a good guy and a bad guy; or so my dualist mind thought. This is the story I have known for what seems like my whole life. It is neat. It is tidy and I knew who God disliked- I knew the bad guys.

And then I read it with my children. I was cheering when the Israelites made it across the Red Sea. The wonder of it all, all those people crossing on dry land- miraculous. When we got to chapter 14: 26-28 our exuberance diminished. As is our custom I stopped and we listened to what the Holy Spirit had to say about this.

One child asked, “I wonder how God felt when all those Egyptians died?”

I was frozen in my thinking, frozen in my heart. “Well, of course.” I thought, “They were the enemy. So… happy?” (Thank you God for keeping my mouth shut. At this point I was the student needing to be taught.)

Another child answered, “God made them, even if they didn’t know it. So I think he was sad. He loves everybody. Yeah, he was sad.”

The moment was gone in a flash. The children were on to other topics, but I couldn’t shake this one. Two days later it’s still teaching me. How do we love our enemies?

We love by realizing we don’t have enemies. Yes, there might be people who want to hurt us, but is that what makes an enemy? If we are in Christ, can anyone cause everlasting damage? I came to the conclusion that we are all created by God. We are all loved by God. We are connected whether we like it or not.

Perhaps this is the starting spot. Children of the Father will see all people as siblings. Children of the Father will really see them. (Matthew 5:45)

Governments, religions, families often thrive on having an enemy. Having someone to hate provides more energy that Starbucks can harness. I hang my head in shame that much of the energy in Christianity has been focused on creating and hunting enemies.

Father, help me to see the connections I have with every living thing on this earth. Help me to love my siblings.

Do I really trust God?

We have teenagers...2 (Plus a little guy but he is still mostly just a fireball)! Teens are undeniably erratic and selfish. Life is usually fine and sometimes INSANE! When things are good we read, talk, pray, learn, listen, watch, play etc. When things are bad we cry and pray and yell and pray some more. Recently things went from good to really really bad. I wept at the drop of a hat and prayed with my tears more than words. But I felt the intense embrace from the Lord during those few days. We encouraged each other and tried to not get short tempered with the 2 other ones not causing immediate pain to us and remember that they were in turmoil too.

In recent months with our small group we have read through the Psalms. It has irritated me that David writes so "whiney" and that he doesn't seem to just stay within the knowledge and trust of God. Then Friday came to this home, and Saturday, and Sunday, and Monday where we cried out "WHY US? WHY THIS? WHY...WHY...WHY? BUT... we WILL trust in the Lord our God whose plans are for our and our children futures to be full of hope and life." We did not distrust God even in our painful moments and  yet we felt safe enough that we could pray and cry out to him.

Today... I feel much more at peace with the Psalms. Understanding that David didn't just lose his faith every time something hard happened, just that he felt secure enough to voice his pain is life giving to me. I did not lose my faith or my trust in my holy, heavenly God this past weekend...I depended on him to listen and take care of the situation in our behalf. I read this morning in Psalm 119 that "your mercies run into the billions, following your guidelines revive me...[I do not want to be one who] walks away from your promises casually!"

So when asked to" pause and imagine God's love pouring over me" I can do that with joy!

(for those of you that know and love us... please know that all is well. No one is injured or in danger or in any issue that is life lasting. We still covet your prayers for coming days and weeks for things to smooth out but we are all healthy and together)

When Time Out Doesn't Work

Same rules as before. Please comment. Ask questions. Disagree. But be kind. Always be kind. Last week when we were chatting about discipline, I was emailed a question. "Since you took spanking off the table in your home, did you replace it with Time Out?"

Well, Yes and No. When we keep in mind that discipline is the opportunity to learn how to govern, placing children in arbitrary Time Out just to punish them, does little long term good. We must (as discipline providers--go ahead, put that on your resume) keep in mind our motive. Why are we dispensing discipline?

Here are just a few responses I've heard and some I've thought... because the world is hard and they need to be tough... because everyone has to pay for their mistakes.... because I must even the score.... because If I spare the rod, my child will be spoiled....because it's expected of me.... because I love my child...because they must learn justice.**

Take a bit of time today and ask yourself why you discipline your children. Invite the Holy Spirit to guide your thinking and show you the truth of your heart. There are lots of reasons why parents choose to discipline, and thinking about why we do this will help us use it with wisdom and compassion. In addition we can take our motives (we usually have more than one) and check them with the motives of Jesus. Luke is 24 chapters, read one a day with the questions in mind, "Why is Jesus doing this?" "What is his motive?" Luke. specifically, gives us the most stories with children.

When I used Time Out in the same manner I was using spanking, by harnessing fear to manipulate, I got the same crappy results. I may have compliance when I'm present, but all out Lord of the Flies in my absence. Fear works best if the "enforcer" is present.  I want my children to be able to govern themselves whether I'm present or not.

However, Time Out can be used as a wonderful space for solitude and silence.  When I turned the Time Out space into a Sacred Space everything changed. In our Sacred Space we placed a battery powered lantern, a few reflective children's books*, paper and crayons. We housed these things in a Sponge Bob, Square Pants tent we found at a yard sale.  The "rule" went something like this. When a child was fighting with a sibling I said, "I think you might need some Tent time?" Or When a child was having a melt down, or when I was having one, "Tent time?"

We weren't kicking them out of the family for their behavior instead we were inviting them into a space with God, where the Spirit could do what the Spirit does best, comfort and convict. I will say I think it helped that I modeled what this could look like. If I needed a break I went to the Tent. When I came out and joined the family, sometimes I offered apologies other times I returned with a better disposition. The kids followed suit.

After only a few weeks the children were initiating their Tent time. They began to go on their own when they knew they were struggling, it continues to this day. We have switched things out over the years, as the kids have matured. Finally, the SBSP Tent died (Thank God!) and was replaced with a special chair. Prayer beads and a Jesus Journal (a notebook where we write things we need to say to Jesus) have replaced the books and crayons. We especially love to pray with labyrinths.***

A Sacred Time Out Space will not meet all your discipline needs. This is not a one size fits all children, parents, or situations. We remember that these are just tools. Tools to help our children learn to govern themselves and tools to help them lean into their God who loves them very much.

*We really loved these books in our Tent.

http://www.amazon.com/Psalms-Children-Marie-H-eacute-egrave/dp/0802853226/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412182716&sr=8-1&keywords=psalms+for+young+children

http://www.amazon.com/Images-Young-Children-Marie-Helene-Delval/dp/0802853919/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1412182716&sr=8-2&keywords=psalms+for+young+children

http://www.amazon.com/Gods-Dream-Archbishop-Desmond-Tutu/dp/0763633887/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1412182716&sr=8-3&keywords=psalms+for+young+children

**As an aside teaching justice is important. It is very important if we want our children to go out into the world and be advocates of justice, by supporting and loving and speaking for the least of these. Justice, though, can be taught without fear. (That's for another blog post.)

***We like this one. As we move to the center of the circle we talk to God. As we move outward, we listen.

http://www.relax4life.com/finger-labyrinths.html

Sappy Parenting Poems

I came across these today. Poems I wrote when my bigger people were little-er. Back when sleep deprivation and hormonal fluctuation were constant companions. Good Times. Maybe they will resonate with you, too.

Popsicles In The Bathtub

Aside from all the other reasons they're magnificent Today they shared a popsicle in the bathtub Soapy smiles licking on orange coldness in the temperate safety of a warm bathtub A lick for you - A lick for me Orange tongues enjoy the rare treat of a Popsicle in Winter What fun on a snowy day

Sleepy Smiles

Sleepy smiles from under the red checked blanket Sleepy smiles sent from the land of soured milk jammies Sleepy smiles like strawberry candies in a usually empty candy dish

Never more than now

Never more than now Do I feel the soft And steady Weight of my treasure

Not a burdensome weight Not a weight to regret taking

But a delightful needing to be needed

Mine Just to Borrow

Counted and kissed her ten tiny toes Tickled her feet and wiped her nose She smells so sweet

Her eyes brown like Daddy's Her cheeks chubby like mine

I pray her heart will be like yours Good and honest Brave and True Full of love for all But love especially for You

You know how many wrinkles in her hands How many smiles in a day You know all the beautiful thoughts she will think All the wonderful things she will say You know her You made her

I need love to mold her Knowledge to teach her Wisdom to guide her Such an amazing gift given to me Such an awesome responsibility

Remind me, Life is short, filled with joy and sorrow And that she is only mine to borrow

the Law of Kindness

I appreciate the vocabulary my son is gaining from our Good Dirt devotions. We’ve been in conversation a lot recently about living God’s Way and the idea of turning the other cheek causes eyes to open wider and wheels to turn in the brain. There are many times when such conversations end in ways I wish they didn’t - “No, mom, I don’t do that”. But I know that each and every conversation works in his heart and they’re all important. Kingdom Living – Lord, teach me Your ways. I want to walk in Your Truth.

Our son’s favourite questions at the end of the day are the ones that ask “When did you feel joy or sorrow today?” For some reason, these speak his language and capture his attention. All the other questions are “hard questions”. One night after brushing his teeth he asked, “Ok, mom, is it time for when you have joy?” It took me a second to understand but the cool thing about that question is that the answer is always “yes, son”. Even in the midst of sorrow, there can be joy. The answer is always “yes”.

Kingdom Living – Lord, let Your joy remain in me so that my joy may be full.

Living life as an expat offers plenty of opportunity for us to show kindness when we don’t feel like it. Perhaps those opportunities abound regardless of circumstance or situation. But it feels amplified out here as a foreigner. I have more conversations with my son about showing kindness than any other thing. Multiple conversations – daily. His enemy: Grandmas (Halmoni). They travel in armies and they all want to touch his sweet face and ask him how old he is. Many of them don’t know kindness the way we would expect the elderly to know kindness and so I feel it is important to share what we have in our heart through our smiles and bows. Oh, but it’s hard when you really don’t want to!

Is kindness required of us whether we want to show it or not!?

This week, kindness was the main topic of conversation during devotions because we kept being asked what Jesus’ life was showing us about His Kingdom. Ah, Kindness. Finally, my son, still fighting the battle in his mind about when kindness is warranted, says “Kindness fills you right up and makes all the bad in you go away.” The selfishness. The need to be right. The need to ‘have enough’. Kindness causes us to share and to give of ourselves. Oh sweet boy, you’ve given me something to think about for a while. Thank you.

Kindgom Living – Lord, let Your Kindness dwell in my heart so that I may have the Law of Kindness on my tongue

-tamara

Some Thoughts on Discipline: Part 3

*Welcome to our respectful discussion. No poo throwing! If you insist on poo throwing I will honor those around you by deleting your post. *This discussion has three parts. Part 1: Honor This Child was posted on Tuesday. Part 2: Train Them to Govern Themselves was posted on Wednesday. Part 3: My Spanking Story is posted today. I'm glad you're here.

Part 3: My Spanking Story

Due to a player in the NFL using a switch on his child, spanking is in the headlines once again. The web is full of experiences and opinions. I am also going to share my experience and opinion. But before I do, I want to encourage you as you struggle and question. Perfect parenting has always been a myth. Having all the answers has always been a myth. No one is a perfect parent and no one has all the answers. Every loving parent struggles, questions, and makes mistakes. I think God intends it this way. Parenting exposes our inadequacies like nothing else. Parenting teaches us that we need help. Take your struggles to God, wrestle with them, and sometimes even wrestle with God. You may walk away with a limp, but you will also leave with humility and guidance. (Not a bad trade for my money.)

I am not going to tell you what to do about spanking, but I encourage you to move away from popular opinion, even move away from how you were parented, and seek God in this decision. Bring your concerns to God, pray, struggle, study and struggle some more. Here are a few resources that have helped me along the way. It is my prayer they help you too.

• The Child in Christian Thought, edited by Marcia J. Bunge. This book has a wealth of information and critical thought. It is not based on pop culture; it is based on history. It will be worth your while to work though.

• The Busy Family’s Guide to Spirituality by David Robinson This book looks at the family as a community of people walk together with God. I like that.

Also if you would like to check out other views on the "spare the rod, spoil the child" Proverb, these are helpful.

http://www.stophitting.com/index.php?page=faithmaterial

http://www.thomashaller.com/PAbiblicalperspectivesonspanking.html

A Confession (as I take a deep breath...)

I had been thinking about it for some time. Even while I spanked my children I was thinking about it. To be clear: the spanking I visited upon my children consisted of an open-handed swat to the rear end. Spanking meant something more severe in my family of origin, so this was seen as doing “not much.” But even the little I was doing was weighing on my mind and heart. One Lenten season the weight was too much. As had been my custom during Lent I was meditating on the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. My mind was going through all that he accomplished that day, the truths found in every theory of atonement. There is so much! But there was one new connection that took me by surprise to such an extent, I changed my parenting completely.

It was like a flash of revelation where one minute I was thinking about the cross and the next minute the cross was connected to Exodus 21:24, “an eye for an eye.” The next minute my mind jumped to Matthew 5:38, “turn the other cheek. “ I understood in a split second Jesus’ act on the cross put an end to violence as an acceptable response.

I wondered if this wasn’t a progressive plan the Trinity hatched up in the beginning. Knowing that human kind had devolved to such a state, it would take baby steps to move us to stop hurting each other. The first baby step for our learning to love was to limit revenge killing. The “eye for an eye” rule meant that families couldn’t wipe out a whole clan out of revenge for a smaller infraction. “An eye for an eye” was an act of limiting a violent response. Jesus then took it another baby step further by telling us, “Don’t return the violent act at all, instead turn the other cheek.” Finally, in an act to end all violence, he gave his life. One last violent act to end them all.

I wrestled with this revelation. First I wrestled with how this would impact my children. Then I wrestled with what my extended family would think. In the end I decided that I had to follow the Good Shepherd. I had to follow the guidance I’d been given. So one day I gathered my daughters, and with tears streaming down my face and my head in my hands, I confessed. “Girls, I’m sorry I spanked you. I mean I’m sorry I’ve been spanking you all along. God has helped me to see that I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

My eldest daughter ran to my side and gathered me into her arms and said, “I forgive you mom.” My other daughter came by my side as well. She said, “Well this is certainly something you don’t hear every day.” (That kid’s comedic timing is fantastic.)

Not everyone is going to agree with my decision or my theology. I’m okay with that. I’m only asking that we all think about this. I’m asking that we consider other options, that we study, and that we wrestle. I believe our children are worth that.

So how to discipline when spanking is off the table? Each child is different and each home is different and that is right and good.

Perhaps a few guidelines might help.

• Remember to honor your children. Even in disciplining, honor them.

• Remember you are training your children to govern themselves. You are aiming for increased independence, Most important, you are training them to have their very own relationship with God. Consider this fact with each discipline decision you make.

• Fear has never been a lasting motivator. It may work momentarily, but it fades pretty quickly. Love though? Love is a great motivator and it does actually move mountains.

• Take a bit of time to reflect before doling out discipline. Don’t be in a hurry. Think it through. The kids can wait. It will drive them nuts, but they’ll learn.

• Be consistent. Whatever you do decide, follow through. This is part of honoring them, being a person of your word.

• Let grace and mercy flow. Read and reread the Gospels. Let the mind and heart of Jesus work its way into yours. This will help shape your responses to be like his would be if he were you and parenting your kids.

Although this post has gone on for days, it is woefully inadequate. I wish we could sit together at my kitchen table and discuss our struggle and our hope. In the absence of that, I pray that these words have given guidance and a place to start.

May I offer you and your children a blessing?

May the Lord bless you and keep you;

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

Some Thoughts on Discipline: Part 2

*Please be aware: This is day two of a respectful discussion here. No poo throwing! If you insist on poo throwing I will honor those around you by deleting your post. *You have joined  a discussion on discipline Part 1: Honor This Child was yesterday. Part 2: Train Them to Govern Themselves is today. Part 3: My Spanking Story will be posted on Thursday.

Part 2: Train Them to Govern Themselves

Effective discipline has a purpose and it’s not to control children. It is to teach them to govern themselves. This image of God that children bear is not static. Being made in the image of God means that human beings have a drive to choose for themselves. We come with a drive—a compelling desire— to govern. During a conversation with a friend about his nine-month-old daughter he said, “Her will is already coming out!” He was right. His daughter was born with a will, and God gave it to her. God, who created her will, has no desire to break it (Matthew 12:20). He does desire that she learn to link up her will with his and become a force for good. A while back it was a favorite saying that parents must break the spirit or the will of the child. We have no right to break something that isn’t ours and that we didn’t create. This is the epitomé of “trespassing” (Matthew 6:12). The famous Scripture verse Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (KJV). As parents our job (bad pay, no insurance or retirement— I know!) is to train our children. We are training them to not be obedient automatons, but to be a force for goodness in the world.

My question from yesterday, “How do I honor my children?” today becomes, “How do I train my children to govern themselves?” Training, like honoring, is hard work.

I know one thing: The key to training is consistency.

If I want my kids to brush their teeth every day I have to train them. Every day. I have to show them that I indeed brush my teeth. I have to expect that they will brush theirs. I have to make sure they have the tools: brushes, paste, and water. I need to check and make sure that they are doing it. When they are young I will have to do it with them, and even sometimes when they are older and have started slacking off.

Now think of it in terms of training kids to getting along with a sibling. I have to show them that I indeed get along with others too. (Here’s another thing I know: More is caught than taught. If we want to know what our “big sin issues” are, we just have to watch our kids, who often pick up some of the worst of our behaviors.) I have to expect that they will get along with others. I have to make sure that they have the tools to get along with others. I need to check in and see how their relationships are going. When they are young I will have to intervene in a lot of sibling squabbles, not to hand out punishment, but to show them what getting along looks like. As they grow older and their abilities to govern themselves increase, I’m backing off.

All kids are different so each child is going to need to be trained in ways that fit their particular needs. We have a saying in our house that goes something like “Fairness isn’t everybody getting the same. Fairness is everybody getting what they need.” This is a more mature view of fairness than most kids have, and my children (okay: me too) are growing into it. As we train our children for growing independence, as we train them to govern themselves, we have to keep in mind that they are each “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and oh-so–different from one another. The techniques that work for one really well may not help another as much.

As my friend, Kevin, recently pointed out parents are different too. We also have our own personalities and temperaments. We need to be self-aware enough to know what discipline techniques we can actually administer. For example chore charts and stickers and elaborate reward systems are not for me. I can't keep up with my keys, this would burden me to death. But it does work for some, and I'm cheering for them.

What happens when children question and attempt to subvert our training? (Well, first, I have a glass of port. Ha!) One of our kids is a questioner. It seems since birth she has been questioning our decisions. Mostly she is respectful. Mostly she does what we ask. But constantly she questions. At first I thought I was going to go crazy. Then I had a short phase (thank God for its being short) when I thought it was disrespectful for her to question me. Finally it occurred to me that I want her to learn to question, as well as to do as she is asked.

Teaching children to submit to authority without question leaves our children open to danger. The people who take authority in her life won’t always have her very best good in mind, and in those cases she needs to know how to question. She needs to know how to rebel. Constant submitting without question also does not teach her to govern her own life. If our decisions don’t make sense to her, she should question. God has given her a mind and heart and he fully expects her to use it. Teaching her wisdom is also part of training her to govern herself.

Here are some of the ways we try to teach her wisdom in her questioning. (Our daughter is 13, so we’ve been working up to this for 13 years. Don’t expect your 7 year-old to pull this off. But this is what we are working toward. Heck some days I’m still working on this!)

• Her argument must be clear and honest.

• She must honor the image of God in the person she’s speaking to.

• In the end she must seek the guidance of God and do what he says.

Questions and actions for consideration

Pause for just a second. Take a deep breath. Reflect on your recent interactions with your children. Pick one that stands out. Ask yourself: was my goal to train my children to govern themselves?

You may find yourself chest deep in a sea of guilt. Will you let me offer you a life line? God is not for guilt. God is for learning to walk with him. Please take a minute and read Psalm 23, aloud. Yes, aloud. You need to hear that the Good Shepherd travels this road with you and your children. You are learning together, and the Good Shepherd is with you.

Parenting is a hard job. Ask God to give you a little grace, a little break, a little mercy. He longs to lavish these, I think, especially on parents. He knows it’s a hard job. He’s a parent too.

Some Thoughts on Discipline: Part 1

*Please be aware: I am opening up a respectful discussion here. No poo throwing! If you insist on poo throwing I will honor those around you by deleting your post. *This turned into a topic I couldn't blog about in just one day. So this will have three parts. Part 1: Honor This Child is posted on Tuesday. Part 2: Train Them to Govern Themselves will be posted on Wednesday. Part 3: My Spanking Story will be posted on Thursday.

Some Thoughts on Discipline

I’m approaching this topic with an enormous amount of fear and trepidation. I’m not so great with conflict and there has been a boat load of conflict over this issue. I also do not want to be seen as presenting myself as an authority on child raising. Like you, I do the best I can. Like you, I pray and pore over these topics. Like you, I make my fair share of mistakes and ask forgiveness both from God and from my family. I don’t have a 1, 2, 3 plan for easy discipline. I also don’t have all the answers. Mostly I have questions and I have a sense of the image of God that has been placed in each child. Each of the following sections is more like something for you to pray about and bring before God. If God had made automatons instead of human beings, there could be a one-size-fits-all approach to raising children. But if you are a parent you have already learned this gig isn’t going to be quick or easy. This is going to take some wrestling, some soul searching and as much of the Holy Spirit as you can stand.

Part 1: Honor this Child

How should we treat a person who bears the image of God? Each human being bears the image of God, every single one (Gen. 1:26, 27). That doesn’t mean that they won’t fight against this fact, or covered it up as fast as possible, but it does mean that each person deserves the highest honor. Yes, honor. The child who keeps wiping their boogers on your shirt deserves honor. If we believe that adults are always better or higher up in the hierarchy, honoring children just might sound wrong.  Jesus, though, turned that system on its head (Matthew 25:31-46). Jesus intentionally brings a child into the midst of adults and honors her (Mark 10:13-16, Luke 18:16, Matthew 19:14). Please hear me that it does no good to romanticize children or childhood. They aren’t perfect little angels or miniature gods. Instead let’s look honestly at how we honor (not worship, or falsely inflate)our children.

The question I ask myself is “How do I honor my children? How do I ascribe them the dignity they are due?” Here are a few practical ways I strive to do this:

• When they are present do not speak about them as if they are not there.

• Do not call them derogatory names.

• Do not speak about them to someone else unless they have given permission.

• Make every effort to keep my word to them.

• Ask their opinion on things that include them and some that don’t. (It doesn't mean I have to follow their suggestions. It means I ask and then listen.)

• If they are reaping a consequence, let them reap it. I honor the choice they made and the consequence involved. Giving them grace may not be protecting them from consequences of their choices but instead walking the consequence out with them. Walking the consequence out with them teaches kindness and compassion.

• Tell them the truth, refusing to bend it in order to manipulate them to my will.

In essence I endeavor to treat them as I would any other person I respect.

And let me make the obvious point: they are much more likely to honor you if you have set the standard of honor in the home. Let me also say that my oldest daughter is only 13, so I have yet to really put some miles on this approach. But how many times have I heard my children say, “You say I shouldn't do it, but you do it!” How I behave is observed and mimicked by them. If I set the standard at dishonor, I can for certain expect to receive it. God honored children when he made them in his image. He could have waited until they became adults. (The ancient Romans had a few beliefs along these lines.) But he didn't. At their very beginning, at our very beginning, we are given honor. By God, no less.

Lastly, what do we do if we realize we haven’t been honoring our children? We ask forgiveness. There are few things more powerful in the world than a parent asking forgiveness from her/his children. I will never forget hearing my mother ask my forgiveness.

You might say something like, “(Child’s name), I haven’t been very honoring of you lately. When I did (confess the incident in detail) I didn’t honor you. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” This is the gate to the road of honor.

Further, I have invited my children to tell me when they don’t feel I’m honoring them. (Seriously. Ouch.) Mostly they have been right on, though sometimes the problem is miscommunication rather than dishonor. But boy, has this brought me to the throne of God as I ask him to change me into someone who honors others!

Questions and actions for consideration

So how about it? What are your thoughts? Does this sound right to you?

Think about your actions over the course of this day. Where and when did you choose to honor your children?

Conflict: A Story of Transformation

Dealing with conflict has been a weak spot for the majority of my life.  Conflict mostly occurs when my will is called into question. Whether what I want is for the good of others or the good of me; conflict happens when what I want done is questioned or not carried out.  Explaining conflict as a proverbial “run in with a bull”, the first two and a half decades of my life could be characterized as “shooting the bull.” My parents were also were bull shooters.* They didn't just take the bull by the horns; they resorted to shooting the bull; domineering a situation and/or persons until their way or will was the only one present. This was my way. I do possess Empathy, which doesn't mean I actually feel the same feelings as someone else, it means I often know what others are thinking and feeling. Not in a creepy mind reader sort of way, but quite practically, when your parents are bull shooters, you learn to read body language, tone of voice, and nuance like reading a book, because in fact you don’t want to be shot. However this “strength” can also be used against people, knowing (or having a pretty good hunch) what other people are thinking or feeling can be used to manipulate for my own good, not the good of another.  In my own way I learned to shoot the bull.

In the third decade-ish of my life two things changed my approach. 1. I learned that shooting the bull didn't exactly work. 2. I began to realize how I had hurt people. I wanted to be like Jesus and I found out I wasn't. So under the counsel of some well meaning ladies; I was taught that a godly woman always submits in conflict. I call this period, “being run over by the bull.”

I kept my Empathy strength to myself, and avoided conflict like the plague.  While for certain Christians are called to submit, this was at the cost of my true self.  Total submission in conflict (squashing my true self) was far from peaceful. Resentment and anger were just below the surface, and sometimes would break the surface in a manner unfortunate to behold.

In decade number four-ish, I began to wonder if there was another way.

About seven years ago through some teachings on love and conflict I began to think about the definition of love being “to will the good of another.”(Dallas Willard)

Everyone knows the passages in 1 Cor. 13 and 1 John 4 on love, and of course the fruit (evidence) of the Spirit is love Gal. 5, but I never thought to meditate upon them in light of conflict and with the definition that love is “to will the good of another.” Over the course of a few years I started to reflect on this before responding, when faced with a conflict.

Sometimes the very best good of another is to engage in the conflict in the most loving manner I can.

Sometimes loving another means making space for the will of another, submission.

Conflict is becoming a way to know the will of another (because listening is perhaps the most important step). It is also becoming a practice in discernment (listening to the Spirit), knowing if I am to lay my own will down, or if I should indeed, pick it up. I am learning that even if I have a loving intention doesn't mean things will work out.

I am learning to accept that I will be misunderstood, Jesus was. I have to let that go.  I am not in charge of outcomes.

This process for me is an exercise in the converging of my emotional life (exposed by conflict) and a contemplative (listening, reflecting) approach that is melding into life transformation.

What about you? How do you approach conflict? How we handle conflict in the intimate setting of our families is formational, for good or ill. What does conflict look like in your home?

* I want to add that my parents have also been transformed by a life with Christ and they no longer are "bull shooters." In fact one reason I believe that we can be changed by Christ is because I have witnessed it in my parents.

Beauty-Full

This weekend I attended an overnight retreat with some ladies from our church. It was a much needed breath of fresh air for me. It hasn't been a glorious week or month or probably even year of me being gracious and kind to my closest people. The speaker at the retreat has written a book entitled "Pursue the Intentional Life". This seems to be what God is his gentle voice is reminding me. To intentionally see... each person, each circumstance, each emotion, each pain, each pleasure-to be in the moment, whether happy or painful. The theme verse was Psalm 90:12... Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom. The inspiration for her book came from an epiphany that she had when she was 50 years old. She wondered what kind of old woman she would be. She realized that she would be the same kind of old woman as she is young(er) woman- only intensified. Making this assessment of my own life I definitely see some places I do not want to intensify as I age. I see some anger and walls that I have built to protect my heart that will only get bigger, thicker, tougher to tear down.

She encouraged us to intentionally think about the rest of our lives and how we want it to be. I want to be able to look back on my life and see a woman who lived for and loved Jesus above all else but loved others too. One who was encouraging and kind. One who was a positive person and more often than not saw the good not the bad in people. One who loved her husband, family well.

A favorite quote from her book is "God is not asking me to number my days to increase my pace but rather to examine my route, not to increase my efficiency but to see where I must make course corrections in heart, character, and actions. If I step back and take a look at my past days, I see a few places where I need to make a course correction if I want my epitaph to be what I want it to be.

Martin Luther defined beauty as a "Deluge of Grace". I love that. I want to be a graceful woman of God. I want to be a grace-FULL woman of God. I choose to do the opposite in times of distrust and anger. I choose to speak and know truth in the presence of lies and deception.  I choose to keep my mouth shut when I am "right" and feel the need to be justified. I choose to love in times of hurt. I choose to not only see beauty I choose to BE beauty to others-to be a "deluge of grace". I choose to pursue an intentional life in the kingdom of God and not "fritter away my life."

I can’t do it all.

I’m asked pretty frequently, “How do you do it all?” It is true, I am a DMIN student at George Fox Evangelical Seminary. It is true, I homeschool my two daughters. orchestra, piano, violin, soccer practice, yes.  It is true I serve as a spiritual director with children. Yep, I garden, yep, we've got some chickens, yep, I do some writing, and some speaking. That is all true. Mostly when I hear this I want to say, “You don’t have the whole story.”

The whole story is that I don’t do it all. The whole story has at least two more parts. One is that I have learned to say, “No.” The tasks I am engaged in are things I have thought about and prayed about. I do not do them because I have been manipulated into doing them. I do not do them because I feel some sort of external or internal pressure to do them.  I am not climbing ladders, and I am not trying to please the crowd. And in fact I am not overly busy. I have time to enjoy a glass of port almost every evening. I have time to have at least one long chat with my Dad everyday. I have learned to say "No" to TV, "No" to hours on social media, and "No" to time sucking gossip.  Granted the tasks that make up my day are not all unicorns and rainbows, but they are ones I have discerned where  I can work in sync with the Kingdom with effectiveness and joy.  When I am asked to add another "to do", I pass the invitation through this lens. It has helped me to remember that just because I have the skills or an open space of time does not warrant saying, “Yes.”

The second part is that I do not do any of these things alone. I am not a one woman band. I have a fleet of excellent professors and advisers at George Fox, they believe I can do this and they support me along the way. My husband is one of the smartest men I know, he takes the hard math and science questions. Over the years my parents have become tremendous support.  I am a member of a small group that has been meeting for two years, we are multigenerational and the sustenance we offer one another is paramount. It was for certain paramount last Sunday, when they gently reminded me that I cannot do it all and further I'm not even expected to.  I constantly draw insight and intelligence from my spiritual direction with children colleagues. I meet with a spiritual director regularly. Really this list could go on for days.

My confession is that sometimes I do feel overwhelmed.  I, now, understand that when I feel this way; it is time to take a look at my life.  It’s time to take a break and discern if I have bought into the lie that I can do it all.

The truth of the matter is that life is better lived intentionally. Prevalent joy in our work, even difficult work, can be had when we are intentional.  A “boot strap” life is lonely and frankly I could never pull it off. (Think about that a minute.) As I grow older I much prefer the “Birkenstock life*.” Indulge me here…I can’t run in Birkenstocks. If I try they will fly off and hit the nearest child.  Just saying. Further, when walking in Birkenstocks on a dirt road, rocks frequently sneak into my shoes, just to get me to stop and look around a bit.  But if I need a shoe that will help me walk a steady, intentional, no frills, pace with others, this is a good choice.

So how about you? What's your current shoe choice? (metaphorically speaking) What does this say about your life? Time to take a discerning look at your life, your use of time, your commitments?

*Birkenstocks is the metaphor I'm using for the "going slowly and intentionally life."

"Still Good" Saturday: Big Seed-Little People

This blog was posted in its original form at www.Renovare.org. A curious phenomenon occurs in elementary schools each year as children meander into their classrooms for the first time. Children scan the room looking for their desk, their locker, their space. Then they plunk backpacks down and begin a process of dominating their spaces. Some children arrange these spaces for as long as the person in charge will let them, others unload haphazardly, but all will settle their goods in their kingdom. Similar behavior can be seen on this first day in the lunch room, on the playground, and usually during Physical Education class.

Physical Education, class because laying kingdom boundaries has a definite connection to the body, the practical tool of carrying out the human will. This wonderful phenomenon is also observed, sometimes with shock and other times with elation, by new parents as their formerly soft and sweet baby begins to assert her independence in the form of tantrums and grand declarations of, “No” and “I can do it.” This is not a switch in personality, but a seed that is planted in every human by God.

In the natural world, seeds take time to germinate and push their spouts up through the protective dirt. This precious seed in children follows a similar route, pushing up through protective family members declaring to the world razor sharp dominion.  The Bible calls this seed the image of God; placing this seed in human beings is the pinnacle act of the creation story.

Each child has been born with the image of God. Without being told or prompted they declare their dominion. Naming is an example of an exercise in dominion easily seen in children. In Genesis 2 God names Adam and rivers. Adam functions in his dominion by naming animals.  Children naturally name and have a desire to know the names of people and things around them.  They instinctively know they were born to rule. But how they rule determines the fullness with which they will bear the image of God.

Within them they contain the capacity for relationship with God. As this relationship grows they will learn to govern with love of God and neighbor as guiding principles. They can grow in the reality of the kingdom of God and the fullness of his image. Although the theology behind the image of God can be complex, explaining the image of God to children doesn’t have to be. Children are innately aware of their own dominion. They also have less social baggage that can get in the way of seeing God and growing in his image. The Wisdom book of Proverbs speaks of this training.  As parents and trainers of children we are to train children to see and live from the image of God within them.

We introduce them to their relational life with God, while training them to govern their kingdom from the place of the image within.

"Still Good" Saturday: A Conversation with God-Children and Prayer

This blog in it's original form was posted at www.Renovare.org I’m not sure who learned the most. Really I’m sure, but let me have my dignity for just a moment.

It was the first day of deer hunting season so I knew the church would be nearly vacant. I was right.  As I was gathering my wits for the Preschool Sunday School class, Jeffery meandered in, head hung low, frown draped across his face.

I mustered up a jolly, “Hello.”

And Jeffery shot back, “Guess it’s just me and you.”

This room is familiar to him and so am I. I see him every week.

“Well Jeffery, should we start by talking with God?”

“No,” he said, “I don’t know how.”

“Talking to God is just like talking to me. You can do it anytime or anywhere…. Bla, bla, bla…”

Jeffery had long since tuned me out and began playing with the glue and the glitter. Frankly I had tuned me out. Talking about prayer is like talking about eating ice cream or riding a roller coaster, words pale in comparison to the real thing.

Finally, I quit talking and watched Jeffery. He had opened the Beginners Bible to the story of Noah. “Read this to me he said.”

So I did.

“Let’s make some art.” He said.

So we did.

We found every color of glitter and paint we could imagine. We made the most sparkly rainbow ever. The best detail was the angel beside the rainbow, a big beautiful brown angel with yellow wings and just behind the brown I could see kind eyes and a huge red smile.

I said, “Your angel, he’s smiling.”

“The angel is wearing God’s smile.” He said.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“He told me.” Jeffery said while adding a last splash of gold glitter.

I suppressed the urge for one more teaching lecture how listening to God is prayer, and how art can also be prayer.

Instead I picked up the green glitter and prayed.

This weekend break out the art supplies with your littlest people, maybe read a Bible story, or how about Psalm 150… then pray. Don’t use words…

Seasons

I learn best through metaphor... so bear with me. I live in Colorado where our lives are governed by seasons. We pray for winter snows to water our desert land where we plant crops in the spring to harvest in the summer and fall. Our crops freeze a lot of the time. Not only is there nothing we can do about it, we have to wait later in the year for the fruits of our labor or "borrow" someone else's.  We have a dry season, a tourist season, a slow season, a harvest season, an apple season, monsoon season, yard sale season, fire season, color season, hunting season, calving/lambing season, football/basketball/baseball/soccer season, wildflower season... I could go on and on.

Each of these seasons have emotion attached to them. We anticipate the tourist season so we can pay our bills without sweat and tears. We fear fire season and its destructiveness. We wait ever so impatiently for monsoon season where we revel in 12% humidity during the rain storm.  We love calving/ lambing season as we watch the newborn babies learn to play but fear that there is still so much cold left until spring. We turn our tv satellite service on for football season and fiercely proclaim our allegiance to the Broncos. We yell and coach and try to rest up for our kids sports seasons. We love wildflower and color season as the colors are so vibrant and creative. Again, I could go on and on. As with all things natural I try to apply it to my spiritual journey.

As I dread the coming of winter in my physical self I feel myself dread the winter in my spirit too. But as I have learned to see beauty in cute boots and new snow I am training myself to see beauty in spiritual winter too. Learning to breathe with the seasons of the church has helped in this. The ordinary time does not mean God is far away. It means He is in the ordinary just as actively as He is in the celebrations. In my winter season I use more of the contemplative disciplines to practice his presence. I read. I meditate. I am quiet (yes during winter basketball season when I am the crazy coaching parent in the stands it is hard to visualize this...haha). It is this season where I love "Yard sale" season of the soul. I take something of someone else's and make it my treasure. During the "monsoon" season of the soul I take in the rain from heaven and store it away. For me this looks like worship services or retreats etc. Where I am immersed in God for a period of time.

There are some seasons I am in now and I keep thinking "will this ever change?" or "I hope this never changes!". I remind myself that God is always faithful to bring the next season. Winter always follows fall. But spring ALWAYS follows winter. This season too will pass. I will soon look back and say "that wasn't so bad and went so quickly". I take great solace in Ecclesiastes 3... There is a season for everything under the sun.  I recently saw a quote that read "The difference between a good [season] and a bad [season] is your attitude." I am praying that my seasonal attitude will be to see Jesus in all seasons!

"Still Good" Saturday: Children Are Horrible Hiders

This blog in it's original form was posted at www.Renovare.org Confront a three year old with, “Did you eat the candy out of your brother’s Christmas stocking?” And you will likely get a, “No.”  But their bodies will tell the truth. Their eyes will look away, their shoulders will curve inwardly and some will fidget.

The Candle Light Christmas Eve service is one I would never miss. Rows and rows of children wiggling with fire is a delight to the eyes. (And frankly a bit of an adrenaline rush as I visually locate the fire extinguisher and count the exits.) Their excitement for Christmas morning cannot be hidden in their bodies. They simply can’t pull it off.

It’s why children dance in the worship service while adults try to contain them. We, adults, have learned to hide the joy of the Lord in our bodies, they have not… yet.

One of the ways we help children in their life with God, is by helping them to keep their parts connected. Mind/emotions/thoughts and feelings, connected to spirits/hearts and bodies.  There are many ways to foster this connection. Here are a few…

• Acknowledge that bodies are good. We get lots of feedback from our culture saying that certain kinds of bodies are good and others are not. We, as followers of an Incarnate God, say, “No way.” All bodies are good. We even get feedback from some in the Christian community saying that bodies are bad. Granted often what we do with our bodies is destructive, but that usually comes from separating the body from the spirit. Turning a person into a thing. Bullying is an example of this. So is sexism and racism.
• One of my greatest struggles, when my children were small, came in the form of confronting "The Public Tantrum."  The “I know you are upset, but we are in Target and you need to shape up,” said through clinched teeth while half the store has stopped and is staring. The mind/emotions are indeed upset and the body is simply living in sync.  As children grow older they do need to learn the appropriateness of, “there is a time and place for everything;” but forcing them to shut off emotion to satisfy my own embarrassment is not healthy for either of us. Each situation is different and each person is different, so it's hard to find one solution, but I think the place we start is by listening. Stopping and actively listening. Then we think,  how can I acknowledge emotions and help my child move them into appropriate expressions?
• Help their experiences of God to flow into their bodies as well as their minds. When we experience God in all our parts we grow strong and balanced. Try assigning parts and acting out the miracles of Jesus. Try praying with your body.  Roy DeLeon’s book, Praying with the Body is a great place to start. Read Psalm 23 aloud, invite your children to act it out with their bodies.
• Take frequent nature walks and name all the bodies you see, including the human ones. Pray simple prayers to thank God for his good creation.

How do you keep parts in sync? (Both yours and the people who leave their gum on your kitchen table.)

*An insightful book that talks about the parts of the person is Dallas Willard's Renovation of the Heart.

Happily Ever After

Sometimes the happenings of this world feel beyond what the heart can bear. A beloved comedian's tragic death. Reports of horrific conflict and genocide in the Middle East, with many of the victims children, their pictures transported thousands of miles across oceans to verify the reality of carnage. Closer to home, this moment, a family gathers at the deathbed of a dear husband, father and grandfather whose body succumbs to cancer, none ready to part with him.

Tragic pain. Heartrending loss. Inner and outer turmoil that the spirit in its purest place knows don't belong in this world, really. As parents we shudder and push through our days. As love-invaded friends of God we offer silent prayers framed with unspoken questions. And then a child's query breaks the silence.

"Why did he die? What happened?" And we have to find words somehow that are truthful and that teach.

Today I came across a gingerbread house-shaped book my third grader wrote last spring in school. His class was studying fairy tales and had the chance to write one. Derrin titled his "The Rabbit Prince and the Bunny Queen." The story unfolds complete with magic wand, castle, and dungeon, and it ends this way:

The prince got the key and got the princess. They ran out of the palace. They got in love and got married! and they lived happily ever after!!!

I smile at a child's simple resolution to problems and his belief in uncomplicated happiness-ever-after. If only ...  And then I think about Bartimaeus, the blind man who Jesus healed. We read about him together with Good Dirt a few nights ago. Bartimaeus received his sight "and followed Jesus along the road, " according to the Gospel of Mark. He begged Jesus for mercy, received it, and then  followed the Savior. It wasn't complicated.

I'm not sure if Bartimaeus lived happily ever after, but in following Jesus he had what he needed most. The evil in the world certainly raged on--Jesus would soon be killed, and death eventually came to this follower, but a bigger reality encompassed Bartimaeus. His life was hidden not in a dungeon or a castle, but with God in Christ for each moment and into eternity. He couldn't be touched by a mean rat (as in Derrin's tale) or an act against himself, a sword or invading bodily cells. Following Jesus put a greater reality in place.

We still stand against evil and illness, yet as we do we seek more and more to know Jesus' mercy in our lives, as Bartimaeus did, and to speak His mercy and life to a hurting world.

Thank God for His Word. It straightens crooked and broken hearts. And as we weep with those who weep, it holds out the promise of lives hidden in Christ for ever after.