This Is My Command: Love One Another

January 5th was "Epiphany Eve," the last day of Christmastide and the night before Epiphany (as a born-and-raised Baptist, this was my first year to ever take note of this). In Good Dirt, Ben and Lacy explain Epiphany is the season in which "we focus on the life of Jesus and how he lived in the Kingdom of God here on earth." So it seemed appropriate that the Scripture for the day was a scene from the upper room—Jesus' final hours teaching his disciples. Gone were the opaque parables and instead, a tender description of how God is intertwined in our lives.

The Vine and the Branches

I've always been moved by the intimate language Jesus uses with his disciples (and by proxy, us) in telling the story of the vine and the branches. He paints a picture of a life weaved with God's Spirit—a life so interconnected with His that it is impossible to separate the two:

• "You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you."
• "Remain in me, as I also remain in you."
•  “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you."
• "Remain in my love."
• "I no longer call you servants...I have called you friends."
• "You did not choose me, but I chose you."
• "This is my command: Love each other."

We are Jesus' friends. He chose us. He has made us clean. We will bear fruit if we remain in Him—fruit that will last. And above all, Jesus says "love each other."

Translating to Five-Year-Old Speak

So there we were, gathered around the table on Epiphany Eve—Carolyn and I with our eight year old and five year old. I'm lucky to get seven seconds of uninterrupted attention from the boy between pleas for him to finish his dinner. And I don't feel like I can do this passage justice--the intimacy with God, Jesus' final meal before the cross—it's going to be lost on the kids. But then I remember the old Sunday school song:

This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full!

http://youtu.be/JgAMqYPtjLU

So we sang it together—I jumped on the piano and plunked out a few chords. We sang loud verses, we sang quiet verses. We sang with just the boys, then just the girls. Our son went and grabbed flashlights to use as microphones, then our daughter did an interpretive dance. They had a blast--in fact, they even asked to do it again the next night.

Most importantly, they heard (and remembered) Jesus' main point - "love one another."

May we know God's kingdom here on earth as we love one another—that our joy may be full.

Epiphany

Epiphany! I love Epiphany! I love to say epiphany... I love to hear my people say epiphany... I love what it means and when it is in the year.  According to Merriam-Webster, Epiphany means a moment in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new or very clear way; an intuitive grasp of reality through something usually simple and striking;  an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure. I love that it is usually through something simple that God uses to illuminate new things to me. I look for epiphanies always! I started this when Mike used to prune in the orchard and his goal in this very mundane, tedious job was to think of something that he had never thought of before.  That was an epiphany to me! To intentionally think of something that I had never thought of.  Now as I get older and my kids and business take up so much of my time and energy this becomes more difficult... but I still love the idea.  I love nature and sense God's presence more in the outdoors than anywhere else.  I can see His creativity, His humor, His forgiveness, His steadfastness in things that grow or are a natural part of our earth. I can be an epiphany just stepping outside if I am aware! I always wonder "How did I not see that before?" At the beginning of this season we asked what we feel like God is showing each of us. What is our "epiphany" of the season. Kadin in all his 4 year old innocence says his is that God loves him. This is a child that will probably not have insecurity issues. He is a show stopper! He will be the one that "everyone likes" and will not know the wonder if he is loved. However I do pray that this is a constant epiphany to him in his life as he remembers that GOD LOVES HIM! and now he can love the world with the overflow of that love.

Quinn says that his is that God is/will help him with his schoolwork. This is exactly what he needs right now! Quinn struggles so much! His disability is called Auditory Neuropathy...where he hears things ok but it all gets jumbles when it goes to his brain. His actual ear drum is loose, not tight, so the sounds don't even sound right. If he is sensing that God is with him in this struggle than he is far ahead in the kingdom of God!

Isabella says off handedly that God is showing her "to be happy!" My first thought is ggrrr... she didn't even think about it! Then I read Act 13:52 and it talks of Paul and Barnabus "brimming with joy and the Holy Spirit...they were happy disciples." WOW! This girl is powerful! She could literally boss CEOs around and yet she has made some mistakes in the past couple years that I fear she will let hold her back. And then God grabs hold of her heart and whispers to her "Be Happy! Move beyond past choices and be happy."

Mike's been meditating on a prayer/Psalm that says "Fight those that fight me, Attack those who attack me. Tell my soul that 'I am' your salvation." He is remembering that worry and fret and stress only cause more worry, fret and stress. That God is bigger than all of this! This is his heavenly battle and Jesus is telling him "I am" and that's all he needs.

Mine is just that life happens! Sometimes it is pretty and sometimes it isn't but if I will have eyes to see I will see Him in every situation. I have always tried to live for Christ and I thought that I could have a perfect life. HAHA... yeah right! The only times that I have been able to minister the word of life to another is through my painful situations. HOLY MOLY! What an epiphany that was!

Basically, each of my people's epiphanies are an epiphany to me! How great is that of God... I had 5 just thinking about this post. Plus if I am looking, I have an epiphany daily/weekly/monthly/yearly.  That is why I love this season... because it reminds me to look!

Do You Want To Be Well

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be healed?" - John 5:6

As a kid reading that verse I remember thinking Jesus to be horribly insensitive. Of course the guy wants to be healed, he's sick and he's laying at the pool where healing happens. But Jesus never wastes his words. He never says things simply to offend. His words are a pickax to break up the ground of our heart so seeds of life can grow. The older I get the more I understand the importance and weight of that stark question.

"Do you want to be well?"

There's a cost to being made whole. Now I think it's a much smaller cost than not being made whole. But there is a cost. For the man in the story it meant learning to walk again and finding a new way to make a living, which at his age was no small matter. For me it means laying down habits of hurry and surrendering scruples I substitute for genuine Spirit-led life. It means admitting that I can't, despite all my efforts, heal myself.

What would you say if Jesus asked you that question? Our seven year old answered, "Yes!" I'm a little slower to respond. Today I'm sitting with the question again, not just for me but for our family.

Jesus, please grant us the courage to take you up on your offer and walk out the healing you offer.

A few years ago I wrote a song about this...

[soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/128679161" params="color=ff6600&auto_play=false&show_artwork=false" width="100%" height="166" iframe="true" /]

Epiphany: a sudden and striking realization

Epiphany:  An experience of sudden and striking realization; a new and profound understanding that takes an individual to a deeper understanding of a situation.  An “a-ha moment” of the highest order. But, more importantly, to a Christian, Epiphany is the season in which we embrace the newly born child who came to Earth as our Savior.  He was, and remains, a gift. Teaching my girls about Epiphany led me to a personal epiphany. This time, between the joy of Christmastide and the personal reflection of Lent, has so often gotten lost in the waiting for a time of celebration.  What my family missed is the fullness of knowing why Jesus came.

Ask any child who has been raised in church “why did Jesus come to Earth?” and the answer will undoubtedly be “to die for us and forgive our sin”.  This is true, but only partially.  The magnitude of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is not lost on me.  On the contrary, each year his death and resurrection is revealed to me in new and fresh ways, increasing my understanding and my love for Him.  What I missed in the scope of that amazing and beautiful picture of surrender to God’s will is that Jesus’ first purpose in coming to Earth wrapped in flesh was so that we could be grafted onto the family tree of God, that we would be made fully aware of our status as fully loved and treasured children of the One True King.

When the Magi made the great journey to see the Christ child, it was not because they had been awaiting the arrival of the Jewish Messiah.  The Magi were not of Jewish descent.  And yet, God revealed the grandeur of this simple Bethlehem birth to them.  And so they came.  They learned who this child was because they stepped out and took the first step of a very long journey.  And God welcomed them.  He lit their way with a bright and beautiful beacon that said “this is my son…and he is here for you.”

With God there is no picking and choosing.  No one is left sitting on the sidelines waiting for the call to join a team that never comes.  No one is left trying to figure out where they fit in or trying to act as though they don’t mind being picked last again.  He accepts all races, all colors with no regard to age, socio-economic or (quite important to my family) developmental boundaries.  He loves us and accepts us because He made us.  We are, literally, His.  And all we have to do is accept the gift.

And so, in this beautiful season, I have had a sudden and striking realization.  My Lord is the ultimate inclusionist  (is that a real word?  It is for me!)  He will seek us across oceans and boundaries of our own making.  He will pursue us to the absolute depths to bring us home.  He knows the heart of those who express their love and pain to Him with unending words.  But He also knows the hearts of those whose words are hindered and for whom pain can only be expressed in cries and for whom praise can only spill out in dances of sheer joy.  He knows who the words and the songs are for.  They are for Him.  Because…we are His.   All of us.  Children of the One True King.  The recipients of the first Christmas gift.

How Do You Communicate?

First Snow 115

Welcome to the year 2014!

A new year either brings a wash of excitement and hope for what might be or an overwhelming list of what is yet unaccomplished.  I suppose it depends on which side of the bread you put the butter.  Apparently, I prefer my buttered bread scrambled, because this year has brought both to me and I'm still not sure which will take the upper hand.  I'm taking one day at a time.

With the 12th day of Christmas upon us, our celebratory routine will change.  School times change, focus changes, work schedules even change. The only thing that won't change is our rhythm of devotion.  I have been 'good' at sticking to the rhythm we established, but I've swung back and forth between feeling at peace with these times together versus feeling like it's all in vain.  It can be hard with an energetic 4 yr old.  I feel like I tell him to respect people -while they're praying- more often than I tell him about the God -to Whom- we pray.  It bothers me.  I'm not a resolution kind of person - if I falter one little bit I give in completely, so I don't set myself up anymore.  But I do have an ongoing hope that has hit the fire this winter.  I want to point my son to Jesus.  And if our conversations, prayers and readings will do that, I will carry on.  If they're getting in the way, though, I need to change my method of communication.

And talking about communication, here are some ways in which my son communicates:

1)  We've been talking about how Jesus takes care of us and looking for things throughout the day that can remind us of that.  I always ask Kaiser for his input, so I let him come up with a suggestion of what 'thing' or 'action' might trigger his memory.  He didn't have to think long before he suggested burping.  Yes, burping.  And being a mother who doesn't often have a better suggestion...... we went with it.  Interestingly enough, he and I burp enough throughout one day to be reminded of Jesus' care -a lot-!  You know, it works.  And since God was the one Who came up with the idea of burping in the first place, I really can't tell my son that it's not polite.  It really helps to live in a country where you don't have to say 'excuse me' after such action, too.  Instead, we say, "Thank you, Jesus, for taking care of me!"

2.) We ruminated on Psalm 23 recently and walked through the Psalm's journey in our imagination.  In case anyone was wondering, Kaiser can use his imagination with his eyes open.  And, indeed, there was the Lord walking beside him through the valley of death.  After we'd gone through the Psalm's journey a few times, I asked him what his favourite part was.

Any guesses?

It was His 'bo' staff.

Bo Staff

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It comforts me.

So with our imaginations in high gear, we press on seeking and searching.....looking for even a glimpse of Him.  We cherish hope and stand against fear - together.  My kind husband, curious son, and I.

-Tamara

Light for the New Year, Light for the Neighborhood

Used under Creative Commons License.

Part of Anne Lamott's story  has stayed with me like a persistent whisper even years after reading her memoir Traveling Mercies. A few families in her childhood opened their lives and gave her a sense of God and his Word and life with him. Her own parents didn't believe, yet in a 1960's San Francisco culture of drugs and alcohol Anne was drawn to God. She experienced life with the believing families of various friends and her own sense of a living, personal God took root.

We Quinns live in a busy suburb here in Colorado, surrounded by houses next door, behind, and across the street. Mormons live behind us, several Hindu families from India are down the street, and a mix of other Christian and unbelieving households live all around. Our culture doesn't mirror Lamott's of the '60s, but we have our own demons to be sure. We've walked with neighbors through deaths on each side of our home, one a suicide and one a father with Cystic Fibrosis. We feel the weight of materialism, strained marriages, self- and entertainment-focused living, career pressures.  Our street has seen a baby born to an unwed 19-year-old, teenagers crawling out of upstairs windows at night, a marriage happen between singles who shared a back fence, divorce, and lots of pet-sitting, lawn-mowing, house-siting, even a dog swap!

We love the people who share this little piece of Colorado with us. We've gotten to know many of them and we spend considerable time with some. I pray for neighbors almost daily as I walk for exercise, we pray for them at family meal times, and we try to follow the Spirit's moving to share the with-God life as we try and live it. We Quinns are so flawed ... we fumble all the time in loving each other and others ... we're so much on the journey ourselves. But somehow--I think it's like the mustard seed that Jesus' preached--God's presence takes hold and He enters lives.

New Year's Eve each year we get together with the family across the street. Fondue, games, and ringing in the New Year has become a tradition all the kids relish, and this year we added some Good Dirt! Our neighbor kids didn't understand about "family devotion time" so we talked about it when they came early before dinner. After the long meal around pots and platters of food, we read about Service and talked about what a spiritual discipline is. Our 8-year-old has trouble transferring that word discipline into the "good" category, so we all went round some more together on the concept, and then our teenager read about Jesus, the Light of the world. Our neighbor parents jumped in with ideas on when we might need Jesus' light in our lives. All the kids agreed that when they're afraid of monsters, Jesus' light is a good thing, and sometimes when they're at school they really need the light of Christ for help.

Those minutes of sitting together focused on Jesus were a bright spot New Year's Eve; Jesus' light indeed filled our time together. I hope these kinds of moments continue to fill our year. I want to thank Lacy and Ben for writing Good Dirt, for putting together this blogging community, and for overseeing the process as we all journey together. Jesus' light is reaching our family in warm, daily ways. And it's reaching our neighborhood family, too. We'll never be anyone's salvation. But Jesus the Savior might be. Yes, come Lord Jesus.

"Whoever follows me ... will have the light of life." John 7:12

One Word for 2014

What's your word for 2014?

Several years ago, I came across the concept of choosing one word at the beginning of a new year. I actually discovered it in the world of scrapbooking--something I had time for before our second child arrived. Ali Edwards describes it well:

"A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow...  I began a tradition of choosing one word for myself each January – a word that I can focus on, meditate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life... It can be something tangible or intangible. It could be a thought or a feeling or an emotion. It can be singular or plural. The key is to find something that has personal meaning for you... One little word can have big meaning in your life if you allow yourself to be open to the possibilities."

Ms. Edwards speaks from a secular viewpoint, and at first I dismissed the concept as too "New Age" for me. But then it occurred to me to ask God for my word, instead of creating one for myself. The idea was to allow God to show me what He had for me in the coming year, not just choose a word that I wanted to will into being. I discovered that when I take some time in December to slow down and be alone with God, He reveals a word for me. Sometimes it makes sense immediately--something I need to learn or increase in my life, something that God wants to remind me of on a daily basis through the coming year. Other times it takes a while for the word to make sense, and I may get through much of the year before realizing what God really meant. My past words have included surrender (during a time when I needed to submit to all that God had for me instead of fighting it),  thrive (when Jesus was reminding me that He came so we could have abundant life), hope (at a time when my soul needed an anchor), and abide (for this past year, as I learned to take one day at a time with Jesus).

This past month I have been asking God for a word for 2014, and one kept coming to mind. (That's usually how it works for me: God puts one word in my head over and over again until I finally get it!) My word for 2014? Sanctuary. It doesn't fully make sense to me yet--as I mentioned, sometimes these things take time. But I can see how it fits in a few different ways...

In December of 2012, I lost my part-time teaching job due to budget cuts. It was a difficult time for me, as I struggled with what to do next. I loved teaching. But I also loved having time with my young children, and couldn't find a part-time job that would allow me that. So I eventually embraced being a homemaker for the last year. (I know, I know, the politically correct term is "stay-at-home mom." But I actually like "homemaker" so much better. I'm not just a mom who happens to stay at home. I am intentionally making a home for my family. See the difference? But I digress...) As I look at the year ahead, God may a have a new job for me and I am open to that. But for now, I continue to be a homemaker, and I want our home to be a sanctuary for our family. A safe place for all of us to retreat to when the world feels scary. A place for us to love and share and find refuge. A place where we read God's word together, eat meals together, work together, play together. A sanctuary.

I also know that God had been calling me closer to his heart recently. Through our daily family devotionals with Good Dirt, through a discipleship class at our church, and through prayer, God is inviting me to know Him better. One definition of sanctuary is "the holiest part of a sacred place" and I know God is beckoning me to come closer, to allow myself to know the Holy of Holies. I confess, choosing this word scares me a little. Most of the time, people need a sanctuary because they require a haven in a time of trouble. But Jesus told us that in this world, we will have trouble, and I want to remember that true sanctuary is only found in my Savior.

What's your word for 2014? One year, I didn't sense a single word being given to me, but rather a verse for the year (Psalm 63:7-8). Perhaps that is true of you, that you have a specific verse that resonates with you instead. Either way, I invite you to share your word or verse with us here and, more importantly, to share it with your family. Speak of what God is doing in your life and where He is leading you in the coming year. Show your children that God is real and active and continuing to teach you through your entire life. God has so much awaiting us in 2014. Let's embrace it as a family.

~Carolyn

Faith like a child

This is our second year celebrating advent and preparing ourselves for Christmas in our spirits not just in buying gifts. I was unsure at first how much of it my small children would get. I mean seriously how much can a five year old understand, the answer is more than I can know. My five year old son is always amazing me with this depth of connection with God already. As my husband asked him what he knew about Jesus he spoke such a clear gospel message that I wondered how I could have ever thought he wouldn't get advent. His response for what he is most thankful from Jesus for today was, "His peace". Indeed his peace is so true. In the last four weeks, peace has come to rest in our house, we chose to do the weeding section of the devotional right before bed and although in the beginning it was a bit hard to keep their attention, our children have never gone to bed with such ease or peace. Very rarely do they bicker or complain at bed time. It has also been a sweet time of them each cuddling up to mom or dad as we discuss how God was apart of our day. We finish each night with a prayer time, starting with our two year old and ending with dad. I can tell you nothing eases a hard days worth of work like hearing your two year old pray a blessing over you from heaven. On Christmas night after the chaos ended, we sat around the tree reading the story of Jesus' birth. Once we were finished, Ezekiel lead the family in acting out the story, with his baby brother playing the part of Jesus. It was beautiful, to be lead by our children in remembering what Christmas is all about. You can have faith and find faith for yourself but you can also pass it on to your children and this devotional is helping us as parents do that. On Christmas morning our son couldn't find his first gift and was very upset about making the whole house look for it. Then we reminded him to pray, to ask Jesus for his help, about ten minutes later it was found and he learned that he could trust God to help him in his time of need. I may not have a wealth of money to pass down to him but if I can give him the full understanding of God's love for him, my life is worth it. The blessing is that no matter how old you are there is no limit to God's word impacting us. The day we read of the last supper and how Peter denied Christ, Joseph was reminded how weak we are, no matter how Godly you think you are or how strong in the Lord, it's impossible to serve Him without His help. It's beautiful to look back at this last month and see how much we as individuals and family has grown together and in the Lord.

Waiting

The middle candle of the Advent wreath sits waiting. The boys watch it, asking which day they can light it. Is Christmas Eve too soon? Yes, too soon; too soon for Advent. Like the boys, we parents want that light to be lit, now, in their hearts. And in the world we are sending them out into, still too young. Light shining in darkness. Are they ready for that? Advent is a time for preparation. Chistmas...gifts, and cards, and baking. Are we preparing for the right thing? We make time to look at the words of the prophets, the work of John the Baptist, Mary, fitting in the candles (one more every week). So much to prepare for as Christmas approaches, as they approach the world.

I told the boys the story of my baptism, as Lent turned into Easter. It was during a late-night service called Easter Vigil. On Good Friday the church was darkened and closed, to be kept silent in remembrance-and preparation. Then, as Saturday turned into Sunday, the priest entered holding a candle high, the only source of illumination in the church, and calling out "the Light of the World!"

Advent and Lent aren't so far apart, really. But neither Christmas nor Easter is the end of the story, and we remind the boys that we are again waiting, just like the prophets and Wise Men, John the Baptist, and all the others we read about during Advent. We're waiting with those last few words in the Bible on our lips: Come, Lord Jesus.

Waiting and Presents

As we have watched the kids these past weeks staring longingly at their gifts under the tree my anticipation grows as I want them to have the items we have chosen for them.  I am not only a Black Friday shopper but a Black Friday decorator too... so we gaze expectantly at those packages for a full month. Very often over this month I waned to give them their special toy or gift card or gadget... but I waited. I have come very close at times to decide to celebrate Hanukah or Tuesday or my mother in laws birthday because those all fall in the middle somewhere. Thankfully my husband is much stronger than I am or at least more sadistic as he thinks it is entertaining to watch them "suffer." They wait with the anticipation of the gift and I wait with the anticipation of knowing the gift will be a great joy to them. I wonder if God the Father felt that way. Knowing the world needed and desired salvation and watching them needing HIM so badly. But timing!... That is key. We mark the day on a calendar and make our kids wait in expectation that we will give them what they asked for... God waited for the perfect timing too.  His timing was written in prophecy ages earlier. HIS gift is the best gift... in the best timing...and has my name on it! and each of my loved ones and yours and anyone who says they "want" it. How crazy is that! When our 4 year old Kadin looked at our 12 year old Quinn's gift and said "I want that!" It did not matter... he didn't get it... didn't even get a share.  But the gift of Jesus there is enough for us all... and it looks a bit different in my heart than in others.

This month I have been meditating on the verse in Isaiah 9:6-7... For to us a CHILD is born... he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace... the ZEAL of the Lord will accomplish this.  That's the gift! The fierce determination of Father God wants to give me this! This BABY fulfills all these things. So badly He wants me to have this gift that He made His son the deliverer. I love a lot of people and would give my own life for many of them... but not one single person in this world would I give my son for. That's a crazy good gift.

It was wonderful watching my family open their presents today... I hope God feels the same as we unwrap HIS glorious mysteries of Jesus.

A Twelve Day Party

If you are just now joining Good Dirt families, Welcome! You are not late to the party, you are just in time.  In fact, welcome to one of the most holy seasons of the year, Christmastide. During Christmastide we celebrate the "pinch me I'm dreaming" miracle of God entering humanity, God wading into joy and pain.

During Christmastide we are engaging in the 12 Classical Spiritual Disciplines Richard Foster writes about in Celebration of Discipline. However in Good Dirt, we engage in them family style. You can still pick up a devotional at Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/dp/1482697459/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

Or you can download it for free at http://www.scribd.com/doc/178534327/Good-Dirt-Advent-Christmastide-Epiphany-Volume-1.

Join us in the next 11, nearly 10 days as we enter the open space of a life with God through prayer, meditation, study, fasting, simplicity, solitude, service, submission, confession, worship, guidance, and celebration.

If these feel overwhelming and not so child friendly check out our child friendly definitions. http://gooddirtfamilies.com/tools-for-tilling/

Happy Christmastide!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the Good Dirt Families community!

He is the Way. Follow Him through the Land of Unlikeness; You will see rare beasts, and have unique adventures.

He is the Truth. Seek Him in the Kingdom of Anxiety; You will come to a great city that has expected your return for years.

He is the Life. Love Him in the World of the Flesh; And at your marriage all its occasions shall dance for joy.

—W.H. Auden, "Christmas Oratorio"

The Wait

For some reason I thought he'd be early. Weeks early. I'd wanted this son for 5 years, and the final days of waiting were killing me. Every day for a month I would wake up and check the bassinet just to make sure he wasn't there yet.

The people of God had been waiting for the Messiah a long long time too. Not just 5 years. More like 500 (give or take). He didn't make his grand entrance quite the way they were expecting him to.

He still doesn't.

Sometimes we wonder if He's coming at all.

When the angel came to Mary to tell her how he was coming, she replied "How can this be?" The Christ child was a hard thing for the child Mary to wrap her mind around. She was afraid. She never had Life inside her before. Never even been touched. "I'm just a virgin, how can this be?"

One of my favorite things about this passage is the angel tells her a story. He gives her a testimony of Life springing up in barren places: Once upon a time, there was a woman who couldn't bear children. Your cousin. The barren one. Six months ago life came to her. She is with child. She has recieved the seed of life inside her. For "nothing is impossible with God". Literal translation: "No freshly spoken Word of God comes without the ability to complete itself."

The atmosphere of fear and confusion shifted to one of faith. The levels of her faith sky rocketed! Even excitement surged thru her! Yes! Yes! I want to be a part of that! "Let it be unto me according to your word" Let the Seed come and bring Christ Life inside me! Her joy was so great that when she got to her cousins house she broke out in song. She believed that what had been promised would come to pass.

When the Lord whispers his plan for us he'll also tell us a good story. The word of the testimony that helps us overcome. Seeds of Life in barren places. It increases our faith in a moment. The testimony gives us grace to agree and wait with patience for what he says he will do. There's the story of lives of those in Scripture, in the lives of fathers and mothers of the faith. Stories of Immanuel, God with us. Then there's our very own stories. Where he has bent down to dwell with us. To be born in us. It's these that infuse us deep with renewed faith. Even when our flesh shakes and says, How can this be?

Here's the short version of my story. Once upon a time I lost my mind. I was told I'd never be better. I was told I was chronic. I was told I'd never be well enough to have another baby. But then! The word of The Lord came to me in a humble little church, bright as that angel who came to Mary. "All Things Are Possible With God." It set me free from months of dark depression. That was March of 2010.

Then on a glorious Saturday in late August of this year my long wait came to its glorious end. My son came, my little miracle boy. Now I have a story that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. It fills me with faith to believe for things that seem impossible. Praise be Immanuel. Nothing is impossible with You. Let it be to me exactly as you've said.

- Joy

Purpose in Struggle

This week led to some profound discussion in my home.  There were topics that seemed pretty heavy for a 10 and 13 year old.  “Why did He let them arrest Him?”  “Why did He heal the people who were there to kill Him?”  Our discussion (as always) steered us in a direction I did not anticipate. Jesus came to earth for a purpose and it wasn’t so that we could spend too much money giving gifts and sing carols once a year.  He came, fully God and wrapped in confining flesh, to do nothing less that offer salvation to a lost world.  To save us.  To show us the greatest love that the world has ever known.  At any time He could have given up.  He could have decided that it was too uncomfortable to live a life limited by the constraints of a human body. He could have returned to Heaven. Every day that He lived on Earth he made a choice to finish he task that was set before Him.  A task that was more than difficult but had a greater purpose than the suffering He would endure.

Everyone has to make hard choices.  As Christ-followers we have the choice to seek out our purpose in life.  The purpose that God Himself placed before us.  We have to choose to carry on when things get hard, when our lives don’t turn out like we thought they would and even when it doesn’t seem fair or when we think that someone else has it better than us.  We have to choose to stick around and not run away, to lean into our struggles and accept them as they build our character and sift out the ugliness of our flesh even as they make us more like Christ Himself.  Our choice doesn’t lead to the salvation of the world.  But our choice can lead our families to salvation.

One of the choices our family has to make every day is how to view autism in our lives.  We could choose to feel sorry for ourselves and to get mired in the why’s.  We could choose to compare our lives and our calling with the callings of more “typical” families.  And sometimes we do just that.  We cry out to God for answers and for relief for us and for our sweet girl.  He is always gracious to answer us and that answer always remains “this is your purpose.  This is how my Glory will be played out in your lives.  This is how others will see Me through you.”  This answer is humbling and so full of love that it makes my heart swell.

What an amazing gift to give to my children at Christmas time: the gift of knowing that though God doesn’t always step in when times get hard, He always has a greater purpose in mind.  The greater Glory.  And if we are patient, and learn to listen and to wait we just might get to be a part of that Glory.

cityscape: skyline of faith and nightmare

How do you navigate? Where do you find home? How do you choose your maps? I bought my maps from two old Greeks and a Russian dissident. I ask a lot of questions of Nobel laureates, mostly poets. I’ve had many maps over the years, but I’ve only kept a few. At some point faith needs to leave home and go on its own adventure, facing danger on its own. Faith needs to learn how to build a fire, make a shelter and find clean water. Faith needs to learn how to make a family, build community, engage commerce and, most importantly, faith needs to learn to keep watch.

The faith that we want our children to have won’t really come from the devotions we’re struggling to maintain. The paper and the printed words aren’t what make faith great, or even viable. Faith comes with callouses, walking for miles, getting lost and finding one’s way home. Faith is found when we return home.

My wife and I have to raise a boy to be a man, and a better man than his father. My wife and I have different ways of doing the same thing. She is nurturing the deep, beautiful side of the spiritual life, while I take him down the alleys of the city. I take him to the Valley of the Shadow.

Quite often we walk together just to walk together. Sometimes I take him out early morning, sometimes late at night. I don’t like to have a reason for walking together, I like to discover the reason along the way. I want him to experience life unfolding; the city blossoming in the morning, or the city nocturnal, full of real shadows.

When we head out together, we always walk through the parking lot of a church building that has a large stained glass work of Jesus tending sheep. When we walk through here, we say together, “The Lord is my shepherd.” Having him say that on his own has been my only spiritual goal for him this year. Maybe next year we’ll add the part about not wanting. Maybe.

Many times we have walked among foreign gods, military machines, prostituted women, drunken men, and known criminals. We’ve been out in all kinds of weather and pushed the limits of wisdom, but always together. I led him. I held his hand. I carried him.

You can teach a kid anything during playtime. They are vulnerable to facts and wisdom. During our walks, I lecture with my hands, opening doors for others, paying for everything I take from a store, cleaning my messes. He just thinks we’re walking to the park, but I’m teaching him along the way. I want him to intuit his surroundings as a seasoned pathfinder; mindful of who he is wherever he is. I want him to navigate with his blood, making decisions with his core, not his skin.

Are these devotions? Maybe. Certainly disciplines.

Right now the needle of your success-o-meter might be bouncing around. That’s ok. Someday he’s going to face all of this on his own (as will your children). I don’t want him to merely be ready, I want him to lead.

When we come home with muddy boots, Momma smiles because she knows we were doing our devotions.

-Mark Liebenthal

Touching Heaven

Just last week we were reading the passage in Luke where the Sadducees are trying to trap Jesus with questions about the resurrection. As we were reading Anwen’s eyes began to glaze over. I knew just by looking at her she was following her own thoughts. I let her, hoping that the Holy Spirit was teaching her. (I didn’t know I was the one getting the teaching, but more about that later.)

The “water” part of this day was to draw or paint a picture of heaven. After we finished I set her about the task. I watched as the picture began to reveal itself. She is very verbal and talked the whole time, not to me, mind you.

At one point she exclaimed, “Hey, I’m in here.”

And that’s when she traced her hands.

Her hands touching eternity.

Her hands in the thin place where heaven becomes earth.

Her hands in the presence of the Father.

The Father met her flanked by angels and our newly deceased cats.

She knew that in the presence of the Trinity there is glowing, thus the glitter.

Bottles of glitter. She couldn’t get enough. (Our Basset Hound who usually eats anything that falls from the table, including Monopoly pieces, decided glitter is not for her.)

We talked afterwards about heaven being any place that God is. That heaven is both now and later.

I asked her, “When is God with you?”

“Well,” she said, “We work together when I play piano. And when I’m swinging. I can feel the Holy Spirit when I’m swinging.”

My kid, she teaches me.

I think I’ll go dust the snow off the swing set and swing awhile, heaven’s waiting.

Pondering All These Things

How is it that amid all the bustle and keeping of commitments during this season, a mother can be deep in thought about the future and the present and the shape of her kids' spirits? It makes me smile to realize that the pondering I'm doing is not really so odd. There was another mother who pondered the child she held and the shape of his future and his spirit.

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19

Mary pondered Jesus' life on the day of his birth, and all these years later as we look back on that humble yet glorious day, I feel in the best of company doing some pondering at Christmas over three boys and the way the Spirit of Christ is forming and shaping their futures.

Are they growing more and more in their sense that God is life and life is God? Do they get that what matters most is a life lived daily with God? Are they learning to be still inside and listen to the voice of the Spirit? Are they learning to live and grow in community with the people of God? Are they learning to choose the hard way  sometimes rather than the easy way or the attractive way or the natural way because sometimes it's the road more difficult that brings life?

Mary pondered how the particulars would play out for this Savior babe. She considered how it would be that the Child born of her loins would mean eternity for every soul to ever live.

And I ponder how this Christ Child will day by day, year by year draw my children into an ever-deepening life with himself, Immanuel, God-with-us. As we focus with our boys on Jesus' birth, I think along with Mary about all Jesus means to me and to them.  It's the story of Jesus that I ponder as I consider my kids' stories and how they will live into--and out of-- this story of Christ.

Christmas and pondering. The season of the Story gives us mothers and fathers a lot to think about.

Where does the time go?

Where does the time go? Growing up in the Catholic Church, following the seasons of the church is a very familiar routine for me. I have memories of lighting an Advent Wreath with my mother, but not with my whole family gathered. The wreath was displayed more as a symbol of the season, part of the regular Christmas decorations my mom so meticulously put out each year, than as an element of discipleship. But I also remember that it wasn't a family event to sit by the wreath, light a candle, and read a devotional. My husband Steve's background is Nazarene, and while he was familiar with the names of the church seasons, there was nothing like an Advent wreath in his home growing up. Christmas, when God came among us, was pretty much a stand alone holy day. In the early years of our marriage, we weren't attending church and therefore not following any calendar other than the usual 12 month one. After a search we began attending a  United Methodist church, which retains more or less a liturgical heritage, and I wanted to again display an Advent wreath. This was several years into our marriage and I recalled, then, that we had actually received an Advent candle holder as a wedding gift. I remember thinking when I first opened it that it was a beautiful 4-candle holder, but at the time had no idea what it was for other than a pretty centerpiece that went with no furniture that we owned. It turned out to be a providential gift.

As our children grew older, I wanted to begin taking time out of the day to study the Bible with them using devotionals. Our church gave out different ones during the year with special ones for Advent and for several years I took them graciously and brought them home just to be lost in the abyss of our house. By and by, each year we managed to do  a little bit more of the readings during Advent - our percentage of pages actually read increased. I think the first year it was Sundays only, just to light the additional candle (we were reminded to do so that morning at church). And then life would move forward, back into the regular hectic routine, with God again pushed to the background until His day came by again. But, each year at Advent we added to the time we set aside to read and discuss a bit of scripture. It's been a frustrating process, trying to fit in family devotional time, not the least because of our difficulty of actually being able to spend time together before rushing to the next event or blessed bedtime.

Advent really has become the consistent time we can sit together and talk about the Bible, reviewing the promises of God leading up to our Savior's birth and our own responses  to Jesus. Over the decade that Steve and I have been introducing our sons to God through the different sit-down devotionals, we've reached the point where the boys now will usually respond to the questions in the readings with appropriate examples. Better still, they'll add other bits from the Bible that relate to what the daily reading is. Though only our eldest has taken on a proper Bible translation to read (illustrated versions are highly popular with all three), it warms the heart and lowers parental anxiety to know that a foundation based on God revealed in the Bible has started to form in each of them. I can only think God has taken those fitfully crowded times we've spent together with His word and made it His time.

Resistance

From Gary: We're one of those families that eats dinner together pretty much every night.  And since that's the most calm, consistent daily time as a family, we figured dinnertime would be the best time for Good Dirt devotions.

Then comes the first week of Advent, and suddenly half our dinners are spent apart.

It could be coincidence. This is a busy time of year, after all. But it just might be something more. It might be Resistance.

Cover from "Do the Work", http://amzn.com/1936719010

I recently read a business book called Do the Work that talks about Resistance. And while the author was speaking primarily in non-spiritual terms, I was struck by the universal experience.

Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole. Resistance is protean. It will assume any form, if that’s what it takes to deceive you. Resistance will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance has no conscience. It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get.

It's safe to say that Satan is not a fan of Christian parents seeking to teach their children the way of the Lord. And in just two weeks time, I've already felt Resistance pushing back on me--being too tired, being distracted, or just straight up forgetting.

And yet, in our first week of Advent, we shared one of the sweetest moments together as a family. On the second morning as we were rushing about trying to get out the door on time, our daughter reminded us about the Good Dirt "tilling" message. So we gathered, standing in the family room, and read together. As we wrapped up, Carolyn suggested we pray for our day--and the four of us stood in a circle, holding hands, each taking a turn with short, simple prayer.

It was a brief moment--but it was a holy moment. And it's moments like that for which we continue to fight Resistance.

Informal Advent

Living the Seasons of the Church is new to us.  Neither Mike nor I grew up knowing anything about Advent or its meaning.  My family had an advent calendar growing up but I just thought it was a candy countdown to presents. I still have that one… however I don’t use it any longer. I used to put a candy in it when it was just Isabella, then Quinn came along and doesn’t like a lot of candy so Isabella would eat his too. Then I just got frustrated that we had just finished our bowl of Halloween candy and this was not about candy and I didn’t like counting down to presents anyway. It seemed so hollow. Over the past couple of years we have learned about the Seasons more. We are still newbies but love the intentionality of it. I love the history and that we are participating in something that believers have used for centuries. Mike likes the non ritualistic aspect of Advent. He is enjoying the tool of the remembering. He has always been averse to the Christmas holiday being so over rated.  We don’t have the traditional wreath with the pastel colors. We have a 5 candle stand with 4 white and 1 red. It sits on Kadins royal blue Superman cape. It reminds us not only that Jesus satisfies tradition but is constant with the times too…plus he is Superman!

Our family hasn’t been able to get the tempo of doing our readings in the morning. Our daughter leaves for school before our youngest is even up. So our daily rhythm begins with Mike taking her to the bus stop and praying with her individually.  As the boys get up, our days go many directions but we know we will be together in the evenings.

My favorite thing is the anticipation of knowing that we will sit down as a family. Just last night our big girl said “Daddy during our bible study will you rub my neck?”  Kadin our 4 year old not only lit the candle by himself at 11:00 am (I know! SCARY… we had a talk!) but also asked if we would pray for his cut finger at our night prayer time. Quinn is our most scheduled and loves that he is the candle lighter each time.

We are not rigid people. We find ritual restricting. We don’t eat at scheduled times, we don’t hardly ever show up anywhere on time, we don’t have strict timetables for work as we work for ourselves. But learning to live this season is breath to our lungs. Our family has struggled through some very hard times recently and the anticipation that tonight I will sit with my most beloved people and Jesus will be there too makes me smile.