Cultivating Resiliency in Children: 5 F-Words to Remember

In this season we are all stretched thin. Many of us are pushed to the edge of our resources. In our family we feel it too. The following is a short video series with small group discussion questions for adults and a few spiritual practices for parents and families.

If you would like a PDF of this guide, email your request to lacy@gooddirtministries.org.

1.     Foundation:

a.     Watch Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R686GOjjlmQ&t=3s

b.     Small Group Discussion Questions:

  • What thoughts or feeling stir in you as you hear the “creative versions” of human beginnings?

  • What evidence of the way of generosity do you see in the world?

  • How are you living into the generous way?

  • Do you believe that we all begin in the generous way? If not reflect on the story that you’ve been told.

  • Where do you notice threads of scarcity in your life or family?

  • How can you help children remember that they belong to the generous way?

c.     Spiritual Practices for Parents and Families:

  • Read the early stories of Eve and Adam found in Genesis 1 and 2. Creatively reimagine with your children what it must have been like to live with God in God’s beautiful world?

  • Become generosity spotters: Notice when you have enough or more than enough and offer a group “Thank you, God!”

  • Practice being generous with your time as you fully listen to your children.

2.     Family:

a.     Watch Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ixswFk65G0

b.     Small Group Discussion Questions:

  •  When we are fully present to another and we communicate that we are listening, mirror neurons in the brain fire and we physiologically feel a connection to the person listening. Tell about a time when you felt fully heard by another.

  • Tell about a time when you listened to another person and it felt vulnerable.

  • Tell a story about when you were sharing, and you could tell that internally the person had left your presence.

  • When you and your child are having “vigorous fellowship” what is your “go to” posture?

  • What fear seem to surface in your parenting? How can you bring these fears to God?

c.     Spiritual Practice for Parents and Families:

  • Practice BOW with each other this week: Body, Openness, Wonder.

  • Choose an instance this week when you are interacting with your children and practice releasing any worries about outcomes. Be fully present and savor the moment with them.

  • Ask God to open you to change or the desire for change.

3.     Failure:

a.     Watch Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGDnWDDKc2s&t=20s

b.     Small Group Discussion Questions:

  • Confession is telling the truth about ourselves and our actions while we receive God’s truth about us- we are a beloved of God. Tell a story about your own parenting failure keeping in mind and heart that you belong in Love’s Family. (A note on listening: as failures are being shared, hold the person sharing in the Light of God’s Love. Your judgments or good advice are not needed. Your loving, prayerful listening is enough.)

  • Tell a story about a time when you sought reconciliation with your child.

  • Reread Mark 8: 22-26, notice how Jesus embraces Plan B.

  • How are you “Plan B-ing it” right now?

  • Has there been a time in your life when nearly everything looked bleak, but it turned out all right in the end… when God pulled off a “goat rodeo?”

c.     Spiritual Practices for Parents and Families:

4.     Fluidity

a.     Watch Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2mOEw25gno&t=7s

b.     Small Group Discussion Questions:

  • What are your first thoughts on the phrase, “nothing in final.”

  • In what areas of your life do you feel like a learner? In what areas of your life do you have the freedom to learn?

  • What parts of your faith are deconstructing?

  • What parts of your faith are reconstructing?

  • Reflect on our first “F- word: Foundation.” Where are you in your experience of God as generous? (In as much as you can, as is safe to do, share how you really feel. Our honesty is where God meets us.)

c.     Spiritual Practices for Parents and Families:

  • Begin to practice asking the question, “I wonder what God is doing?”

  • During times of difficulty and struggle Mr. Roger’s quoting his mother, said, “Look for the helpers.” Look around to who is doing good in the world. Seek out these stories and tell them over and over.

  • A mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it. Practice the posture of a learner by asking the question: “What are we learning?”

5.     Funny

a.     Watch Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLwIG1knhto&t=3s

b.     Small Group Discussion Question:

  • Tell a funny story that connects your family.

  • Is there an area in your life that could use a lighter touch?

  • How might you be able to tap the funny bone in your family during COVID?

  • Share about a time when your vulnerability lead to a funny moment.

  • Reflecting on the 5 F-words, which word could use more attention in your life and/or family?

  • How can you share these 5 F-words with your children? How can you make them part of your conversations?

c.     Spiritual Practices for Parents and Families:

  • Set time aside weekly for sharing of funny things you heard or saw. Maybe at bedtime or over a meal.

  • Watch funny kitten videos online. Allow yourself to lean into the laugh. Listen to your children laugh and savor the sound.

  • Practice telling jokes. Children love to learn to deliver a good joke. (Practice telling jokes that draw people together, not separate or belittle.)