Prayer Labyrinths, Children and Lent

Lent is a little more than a week away; it begins on Wednesday February 10th this year. There are endless ways to mark our lives by the life of Christ during Lent and one way many churches have engaged is meditation and prayer using a Labyrinth.

Labyrinths have been around for thousands of years. People have used them for various reasons, but Christians have been using them for prayer since the Middle Ages. Labyrinths have the wonderful possibility of moving prayer into our bodies.

Children are notoriously good at expressing all things with their bodies. Just take a toddler into a lively worship service and their joy will leak out into their bodies and maybe on the floor, but that's another matter.

Today I’m sharing an attempt at a Guided Prayer: The Way of the Cross for children.

Some ways and places for this meditation might be-

·      As a guided conversation with God (prayer) while walking a labyrinth

·      As guided prayer while engaging the Stations of the Cross

·      Older children can use this meditation alone while walking a labyrinth or Stations of the Cross

·      Younger children can share the time and meditation with an adult who loves them while walking a labyrinth or Stations of the Cross

Please feel free to print out this guided prayer , fold it in half and offer it to children within your sphere of influence and take a conversational walk with God.

One last reminder, the conversations of children with their God can be private. It’s helpful to keep the words of George MacDonald in mind,

“A parent must respect the spiritual person of his child, and approach it with reverence, for that too looks the Father in the face and has an audience with Him into which no earthly parent can enter even he dared to desire it.”

If a child shares their conversation with God with you, you are on sacred ground indeed. Respect the holiness of that moment by not sharing the conversation with anyone else, unless you receive the child’s permission.

If a child doesn’t share anything with you, you are on sacred ground indeed. Surely we remember from our FFA class that seeds germinate in the rich, secrete space of hiddenness. There is no space where the Spirit is not working up something, even if adults can’t see it.  

Yes. Let it be so. 

Good Dirt: Advent, Christmastide and Epiphany

Today it’s snowing at our house.

Snow is the earth’s invitation to

settle in,

center down

and rest from our labors.

It’s an invitation to reflect on the busyness of spring, summer and autumn and savor the memories that form us.

I’m savoring a hike we took up to Blue Lakes. I’m generally the slowest hiker bringing up the rear. However, this time our fourteen year old daughter hung back with me. We wandered up the mountainside stopping to write poems about flowers and trees and mountain streams. We drew pictures, ate Oreo cookies, and talked about things too deep to speak without marmots near. Thank you Loving Creator for that memory.

In my mind it’s also an invitation to prepare for Advent. The season of Advent begins November 29th.  The holiday hoopla is already in full swing. I saw a post of FB yesterday that said, “For every Christmas tree lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer.” Oh My! That’s harsh, but I get it. In the United States the holiday ball is already rolling.

I spent many years on that loud, rushed, overindulgent, train.

As a follower of Jesus, this is the season I want to savor. Like the snow that blankets and swaddles, Advent invites us to settle in, to center down, to let Mary and her baby teach us a thing or two.

In order to keep from getting swallowed up I set some boundaries. We don’t have to be everywhere or do everything. I make a few plans and a few choices early on that guide us.

Ben Barczi and I wrote Good Dirt: A Devotional for the Spiritual Formation of Families as a possible choice. The first volume Good Dirt: Advent, Christmastide and Epiphany has seasonal activities and readings to guide families through a celebration of Jesus’ incarnation, introducing the twelve classical spiritual disciplines as tools to work the soil of the soul.

What would it look like to

settle in,

center down,

and engage with Jesus this holiday season?

Thank you Snow, I think I’ll take you up on it. 

Unpacking LWGFC: The Curse of the Memory Verse

I have seen more poo flung over whether children should be forced or invited or rewarded or coerced to memorize verses of Scripture. I have seen entire children’s departments lose their ever-loving-minds over this issue.

So I’d like to start off by taking a nice, long, deep breath. Inhale… Exhale… There.

One more if you need to. That’s better.

Children learn in various ways. Some learn through observation, others must touch everything.  They connect with others in various ways as well. Some need to be hugged and held, others need constant words of affirmation.

There isn’t really a “one size fits all” mold of how children will grow in their life with God. Likewise children will not encounter Scripture in the same way. 

Some children will thrive on Scripture memory, pursuing every jot and tittle will encourage and thrill them to no end. They might see their success in memorizing as a commentary on their relationship with God, which it is not.

Some children will be turned off by Scripture memory; they will see their struggle to memorize as a commentary on their relationship with God. Which it is not.

The ability to memorize is not a reflection of a child's connection with God. 

However, memorizing not only molds the mind, but also the soul. The Scripture that children commit to memory will stay with them for a lifetime. Scripture memory is encouraged, even commanded. Psalm 119: 9, 11, Joshua 1:8, 2 Tim. 3:16, Deut. 11:18, Psalm 1:1-3, Col. 3:16… and so on.

What do we do with this tension? We live in it. In Life with God for Children we decided to embrace both positions. Yes, Scripture memory is profitable and necessary. Yes, memorizing it word for word is not for every person. 

Here are a few tips to live in the tension.

1.     We provide a focus verse, which is a verse from the reading that is a reminder of the story at hand. It is a place to hang our hat, to jog our memory.  Focus on this verse, talk about it, unpack the meaning, act it out, chant it. In short-- Engage with this verse. This verse in some instances can be used as a memory verse. When it is not as helpful for memorizing we have provided an alternate.

2.     Make memorizing a game. In the introduction we’ve included a set of memorization games. Use them. Have fun. In addition you can copy them and send them home as something fun to do with parents.  

3.     Skip the rewards. The fact is if we label some as winners, some will be labeled as losers. Memorizing can be fun and engaging, but it should never be equated with worth. Worth is embedded in extrinsic rewards, so just steer clear. 

4.    Be aware. There are going to be some children who struggle to memorize. Meet these children where they are. Ask them to tell you what they would like to try. Let them be the guide. 

5.    Embrace freedom. Do what is best for your class. Remember we are teaching children, not curriculum. 

May God bless us all with his living words of life. 

May we have the ears and hearts to hear. 

Unpacking LWGFC: Connect, Using the Timeline

In Life with God for Children while we are engaging in life together we are also engaging in the lives of those in the Bible who have journeyed with God. We notice when they walk with God and when they walk away from God. We are learning the ways (spiritual disciplines) that they have connected with God and doing the same.

“ A lost coin is found by means of a candle; the deepest truth is found by means of a simple story.” –Anthony De Mello

During the Connect movement in the lesson cycle the children are given the opportunity to tell the stories they have heard in the past weeks. They use the time line and the Bible verses attached to it as a reminder. Ask for two or three volunteers and invite the rest of the class to practicing listening with the ear of their heart.

More clearly, invite the children listening to pay attention to what God might have to say to them through this telling of Biblical stories. In our culture of talking-talking-talking, it is helpful to remind children what listening looks like. It looks like sitting still, making eye contact, nodding their head.  

You may notice that the storyteller might not tell the story exactly as it was told or read. Instead they might tell the story they most need to hear. They might let you in on the deepest truth that has them wondering or the deepest truth that has touched their heart.

Try not to correct the storyteller, unless the story is grossly off. If the child asks for help telling a story feel free to help, but as much as possible refrain from correcting.

In each telling of the story the children are making the stories part of their own emotional and mental history. With each telling they are weaving the Biblical narrative into their soul.

“Every story you tell is your own story.” –Joseph Campbell

In reality these stories are their own stories. Like Moses they will learn to listen for God and know his voice. Like Ruth they will learn that submission is the stuff of love and friendship. Like Mary they will invite Jesus into their lives and meditate on his presence with them.

When the storytellers have finished give the listening children a chance to share in one sentence what God may have said to them, always on an invitation only basis.

So,

Blessed adult,

Who has the chance to hear the Biblical stories of those who walked with God

Through the heart of a child,

Settle in

This is going to be good. 

Unpacking LWGFC: Sacred Spot or a bright idea for helping hurting kids

Sacred Spot

Some of the children in our communities will be carrying deep wounds. Incidentally these children are often the ones who will act out.

Can I make a bold suggestion? Set aside two adults and a quiet spot. Look for and invite two adults to be a listening presence to children during class time. Creating a sacred space where children who are hurting can come and talk with an adult is much needed in our churches where we have for the most part ignored the pain of children.

Shaking our heads and saying, “Poor baby,” is not enough.

This sacred spot might look like two chairs and a cross. It might look like a candle and a stuffed animal. It might include items like blank paper and crayons, bubbles or a finger labyrinth. In this space the adult can say to child,

“Tell me why you are sad.”

This is not a spot for lectures, or teaching, or even sharing our own stories. In this spot the children are sharing and the adult is listening and praying for the Spirit to do what the Spirit does best and comfort this hurting child. The hurts that are shared may seem incidental or monumental. Our job is to listen without judgment.

A child may share something with you that requires action. Talk of abuse should be taken seriously and shared immediately with your pastor or the child abuse hotline. 

When the child has finished sharing the adult can ask the child,

“Would you like to talk with God?”

This is where the paper and crayons are helpful. Depending on your supplies, a shallow dish of sand can be a place to draw a prayer to God, so can paints and paper, or bubbles, where children can blow their prayer to God.  Even finger labyrinths can be places children can tell their hurts to God.   

Encircle the children gracious Christ. 

Where there is brokenness bring healing. 

Where there is anxiety bring comfort. 

Where there is loneliness bring your presence. 

We know you love the children and we trust you. Amen. 

*This bright idea didn't come from my brain, but from the heart of Leanne Hadley. I heard her speak about it at a conference.  

Unpacking Life with God for Children (LWGFC): Prayer with Children

The lesson cycle in LWGFC includes a prayer practice. In order for prayer to become a part of the lives of children we not only teach about prayer but we open the space for children to experience a conversational relationship with God.

The prayer rhythm in LWGFC includes a space for requests and a space for making the request. Most of us first begin to pray when we are in need. While it may make adults uncomfortable, children have needs as well. They have wounds and worries. Making time for the prayer practice is a rhythmic reminder that God is near, God is listening, acting and cares about and for them. 

Taking time for sharing and making requests teaches children listening skills and empathy. Both of which are much needed in our day of rabid talking and judging. 

Suggestions:

You don’t have to follow the rhythm of requests clockwise and prayer counter clockwise, but have a rhythm. Rhythm helps children to know what to expect. Children who struggle socially find safety in a rhythm. They may not share immediately, but will open up after several weeks of the same rhythm.

Don’t worry about time. While it may be wise to help summarize the boy who talks too long about his dog, be sure everyone has a chance to share. If the children are sincerely engaged in sharing their needs and then praying about them, rest in that. Remember we are teaching children, not curriculum. Go with the flow of the Spirit.

The teacher should share requests and pray as well. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability. There is no way around it. It goes without saying that adults need to be mindful of what they share; making sure it is appropriate for children. However, sharing a request and an expectation that God will answer not only helps children to share, but it will build their trust in God. It will build yours too.  

This is a discipleship community and you are learning together. Conversation with God is the goal. Let the rest go.

Always invite. Never force. What God is doing in the life of children is often hidden. Trust that God is at work.

A child may share something with you that requires action. Talk of abuse should be taken seriously and shared immediately with your pastor or the child abuse hotline.

God has been in pursuit of these children since their creation. Prayer together will give them language to enter into a conversation with God. It will remind them that they are never alone, that God is near and eager to respond in love. 

Unpacking Life with God for Children (LWGFC): Center Down

If you are tracking with us through the curriculum we are on the second bolded phrase in the lesson cycle: Center Down. 

Center Down is a Quaker phrase that essentially represents a process of quieting the body, mind and spirit. It is a space to remember, “Ah, Yes. I am a child of God.” In our increasingly loud, loud, loud world it’s a place of quiet.

Children? Quiet? Have I met children, seen children, or ever been a child?

Our assumption that children cannot be quiet is a false one. Remember back to that time we were standing in the kitchen and the children were playing in another room and all the sudden it fell quiet. We rushed into the other room to find our children “up to something.” They weren't necessarily quiet because they didn’t want us to hear instead they were absorbed, completely enthralled, in watching a spider creep across the floor, or a Lego structure built just right, or the grand masterpiece they have just finished creating on their baby brother in permanent marker.

Children can be quiet and reflective they just need something that is compelling to ponder.

Jesus is the place of quiet that we all need. The centering down space in LWGFC is an open, quiet space for Jesus to meet the children.

We open this space first by telling the body, “Hey this is different than normal.” One way to do that is to remove our shoes and leave all electronic at the door. A little bench inside the door helps to make this process quick and relatively painless. Invite the children to remove their shoes and tuck their electronic inside one shoe. Place them both under the bench. 

We create an environment that lends itself to quiet and invite the children into it with our presence.  

That environment might look like books and throw pillows. It might look like coloring pages and coloring pencils. It might look like finger labyrinths and quiet music. It might even look like teaching the children a breath prayer and breathing it with them.

The only must have requirement is an adult or two depending on how many children. As I mentioned in the last post, the children follow you. If you are resting in quiet with Jesus, they will rest in quiet with Jesus. If the teacher is up preparing or chatting with folks, or checking FB (guilty.) the children generally won’t Center Down.  I don’t know about you, but I could use a quiet space a few minutes, no more than 12-15 minutes, to “be” in the quiet with Jesus and his children.

A Few Tips: These are tips, suggestions—not law. Sometimes they work, sometimes not so much.

·      Rhythms take time to establish. You and the children might need a little time to get used to this slower, quieter pace. “Be still and know that I am, God,” doesn’t happen overnight. So give everyone (including yourself) a little grace. Begin with 5 minutes, then try 10, and so forth. But keep working on it don’t give up.

·      12-15 minutes is a guideline, not a deadline. We are teaching children, not curriculum. So if the children are really settling down into the quiet, stay there as long as you can. They may need it. You will be able to tell where they are if you are with them, sitting, coloring, resting in the quiet. Pay attention to both the children and the Spirit. Is She moving you on to Prayer Time (which we will talk about in the next blog post) or is She speaking to them in the quiet?

·      Children’s Books: Here are a few lovely ones that might be helpful during Center Down.

• Psalm 23 by Tim Ladwig
•  Glory by Nancy White Carlstrom and Debra Reid Jenkins
•  The Blessing of the Beasts by Ethel Pochocki
•  Journey to the Heart by Frank X. Jelenek and Ann Boyajian
•  Owl Moon by Jane Yolen and John Schoenherr
•  Granddad’s Prayers of the Earth by Douglas Wood and PJ Lynch
•  Our Solar System by Ian Graham
•  The Universe by Ian Graham
•  And the two very best…. Images of God: For Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval and Barbara Nascimbeni and Psalms for Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval and Arno

·      Labyrinths can be found all over the Internet. Here is one example, http://www.relax4life.com/finger-labyrinths.html

• Invite children into a conversation with God as they move their fingers. On their way into the center space invite the children to talk to God. To tell God about their week, what makes them happy, sad, or worried. Once they get to the center, breathe three deep breaths—One for the Father, One for the Son and One for the Holy Spirit. As the children move outward from the center invite them to listen for God to speak to them.

·      My opinion is that traditional children’s color pages are terrible. Full of stereotypes and mostly bad art. Try a few of these instead:

•  http://prayingincolor.com/handouts
•  http://www.lindisfarne-scriptorium.co.uk/gallery/digital-products-c-69.html
•   http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Mandalas-Family-Coloring-Book/dp/0976271753/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1441895382&sr=8-3&keywords=christian+mandalas+coloring  (Have not used this book, but I want to.)
• Lastly, use color pencils. Helps us to color slower, better feel on the paper, and there is something a little more earthy, grounded about wood rather than plastic. 

·      Breath Prayer for children:

• Close your eyes. Breathe in and say, “Jesus.” Breathe out and say, “Loves me.”
• Keep breathing “Jesus Loves me” until you know he is beside you. 

(Go ahead, you can try that now. It's good for adult souls too.)